Divorce solicitors

[missindependent]

Hi there,

A colleague of mine is separated from his wife and has been for approx 2 1/2 years. Not many people know and he has asked me some advice, which I dont really know the answers too, hence my post!

He still lives at the family home with his wife and as far as I know pays all of the mortgage and household bills. No one apart from myself and a few other colleagues know he's seeing someone else (which I've been told started well after their marriage came to an end, albeit they arn't yet divorced).

Divorces proceedings have begun but are in the early stages. He's looking for an amicable separation and devorce and wants to provide his wife with a fair settlement and also continue to contribute to the upbringing of their two girls. He has recently met someone else who he really likes and wants to move forward with. Should he speak to his solicitor about this new relationship and be 100% honest? And if so, is his solicitor then obliged to confirm adultery if questioned by his wife's solicitor?

Thanks to everyone in advance for your advice and assistance.

Milly

[dothawkes31]

He will be responsible for making sure the children have a roof over their heads and food on the table until they leave full time education and so if he and another person were maybe thinking of selling the house he's out of luck, and if he and another person were thinking of setting up an home together then they would need to be able to support themselves on their salaries minus whatever he would be required to pay to keep the home running for his children. I would suggest he stops where he is and ignores others who are trying to manipulate him away from his family and he should look after the children first and not be so selfish.

[fredpuli47]

Please see my answer to your other post on these same circumstances.

Those who have experience of dealing with this sort of thing have to be practical. I don't think that where two people have agreed or simply faced the fact that their marriage is at an end, 'irretrievably broken down' as the law puts it, the law (or society ) should try to stop them finding marital happiness with someone else.The law will try to protect the interests of the children first.As to the wife , the court will assess what her proper share in the 'matrimonial property' (including the house) is.She may be permitted to live in it until the children have reached 18 or some such order or she may be required to leave it so the house can be sold. It's impossible to say without knowing all the circumstances of the parties and that applies to orders for maintenance as well.

[JanineG]

As far as I recall from way back when studying matrimonial law, the parties have to give reasons for the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. As they are not separated for legal purposes (i.e. they still share the house and presumably don't therefore live entirely separate lives) then they won't be able to rely on the 2 years separation reason. The only options are therefore either adultery or unreasonable behaviour - whoever files for the divorce needs to give one of these reasons.

Are you sure that divorce is what they really want though? seems strange that they have managed to live together for so long in the circumstances - particularly as you say it was his affair which caused the split.......I'm not sure I believe his story here to be honest. But yes - there's no reason why he shouldn't be honest with his solicitor about his shinnanigans.....feel sorry for the children and his (from what you say) very very understanding wife.

[Boobars]

Acctually not to put the cat amoung the pigeons but my ex did not have to provided a roof over his kids head our family home was sold he got half the equity even though he had not been paying the morgage for over a year, as he arrgued the case that he needed a home for the children too. He is now in rented accomodation and does not support the running of the home that the kids live in appart from the monthly money that he gives me for the children which does not go far with two growing kids. The days where you stay in the family home until your children have grown and left school are well gone it is the mans choice to leave his children there other wise if he does not choose or you can not pay him out it get sold and split 50 50.

Hope it goes well I separted for my ex over 6 years ago and I'm still haveing problems

[fredpuli47]

You say that divorce proceedings have begun. That should answer the question above but has a petition been issued ? On what grounds is it said the marriage is irretrievably broken down ?Unreasonable behaviour? Adultery? Being in the same house is not necessarily a bar to pleading two years separation with consent. If the parties aren't cohabiting and are leading separate lives the fact that they happen to be under the same roof is not in itself a bar to it. They are de facto separated, after all, though I agree it's unusual and more associated with millionaires in a mansion, where one lives in one wing and one in another, and not with ordinary people over a period of two years.

[missindependent]

hi everyone,

thanks for your comments and advice. I passed them all on and my colleague has gone quiet on the subject, so I've not mentioned it, hopefully they're sorting things out.

Thanks once again everyone,
Milly