ChatterBank6 mins ago
good idea or not?
45 Answers
if im 16 and i really want a baby and so does my 22 year old boyfriend, by the time im 17 and he is 23 do you think this is a senseible age to start trying for a baby? if i live with him his mum and step dad and their is enough space for a baby, and + me and my boyfriend would have been together 3 years by then... good idear or not? HELP please!!!!!! : ) also he does worrkkk =) and i want to work in a shop like tesco's or something of a kind whilst at college then when ive done my college course go into some kind of childcare work : ) like nurseuary or something
is this sensible???
is this sensible???
Answers
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There is only one answer to your question, NO. You are way too young to be considering having a baby. Your best course of action is to finish at college first, and then get a job. Do you really think it is a good idea to have a baby, all of you living together? I would wait a while until you are truly settled, you both have plenty of time yet.
What's your rush hun? In answer to your question I have to say its not a good idea. Trust me, I am 33 and married and have just had my 2nd baby 10 weeks ago. It has been hell on earth coping with a very difficult baby. If I were you I would do the college course, if you want to go into childcare you can then look after other people's babies and give them back! ( I have done this too and am now a childminder) You are both so young you need to enjoy life without getting tied down with a baby. Save up, go on holiday or have nights out and enjoy having no responsibilities. I know that probably sounds very old fashioned to you but it is so true. You have the rest of your life to have a baby.
Frankly? No!
you're 18 for heavens sake, why would you want to be tied to a baby at that age? Please think about the very real possibility of you postponing your life for at least 10 year before you embark on this daft hair brained plan.
Think...no learning to drive (probably too skint and you couldn't afford a car anyway)
No going to clubs/pubs/nights out- unless you can get a babysitter, and try getting one of those on say New Years Eve!
No going on foreign holidays and clubbing it till 4am smashed out your brains. Holidays for you will consist of a caravan in Skegness with a travel cot.
No just nipping out when you feel like it, going out will consist of spending at least an hour getting you and baby ready, by which time you frankly can't be bothered.
And lastly- trying to fit in any type of work and or career around a baby and the astronimical childcare costs.
you're 18 for heavens sake, why would you want to be tied to a baby at that age? Please think about the very real possibility of you postponing your life for at least 10 year before you embark on this daft hair brained plan.
Think...no learning to drive (probably too skint and you couldn't afford a car anyway)
No going to clubs/pubs/nights out- unless you can get a babysitter, and try getting one of those on say New Years Eve!
No going on foreign holidays and clubbing it till 4am smashed out your brains. Holidays for you will consist of a caravan in Skegness with a travel cot.
No just nipping out when you feel like it, going out will consist of spending at least an hour getting you and baby ready, by which time you frankly can't be bothered.
And lastly- trying to fit in any type of work and or career around a baby and the astronimical childcare costs.
why are you asking if its a good idiea? is it because you are unsure or because the people around you, you boyfriend maybe, are telling you its not a good idea and you want someone else to say "yeah go for it"
forgetting your age at the moment. You are living with your boyfriends parents, presumably they are already supporting you both in some way financially, do you really think that another mouth to feed is a way of showing them how responsible you are as a couple?
Once a baby arrives how do you think you will manage to save up and move out?
even if you are working, you will need to pay for childcare, or are you expecting family to help out?
to work or study with a baby in tow is very very hard. Sleepless nights will not stop just because you need to be able to concentrate for work or college.
Even if you got through college and found a job in a nursery you do realise that youd still have to pay for childcare? these jobs dont come with free nursery place for your child.
would be intersting to hear if your boyfriend really thinks this is a good idea whilst you are living as you are
the age of you will just compound matters i think.
forgetting your age at the moment. You are living with your boyfriends parents, presumably they are already supporting you both in some way financially, do you really think that another mouth to feed is a way of showing them how responsible you are as a couple?
Once a baby arrives how do you think you will manage to save up and move out?
even if you are working, you will need to pay for childcare, or are you expecting family to help out?
to work or study with a baby in tow is very very hard. Sleepless nights will not stop just because you need to be able to concentrate for work or college.
Even if you got through college and found a job in a nursery you do realise that youd still have to pay for childcare? these jobs dont come with free nursery place for your child.
would be intersting to hear if your boyfriend really thinks this is a good idea whilst you are living as you are
the age of you will just compound matters i think.
I am lost sic123, ---at 4/30 pm today in Law you were asking about the legality of moving in with your b/f as you were 16.
At almost 6.00 pm on the same day , you have moved in and now want a baby.
Are you for real or is this some sort of weird fantasy?
What do your parents have to say about all this?
Anyway think you are totally bonkers to even think about a baby at 16, I don't even think you know which planet you are on , or what is real or unreal.
Sorry not to be more helpful.
At almost 6.00 pm on the same day , you have moved in and now want a baby.
Are you for real or is this some sort of weird fantasy?
What do your parents have to say about all this?
Anyway think you are totally bonkers to even think about a baby at 16, I don't even think you know which planet you are on , or what is real or unreal.
Sorry not to be more helpful.
Brenda,
There seems to be a lot of what you describe going on here - one minute they say this and then change their mind - are they for real? I doubt it very much - so just enjoy seeing answers on their threads from people who care - sad really is'nt it?
Probably bald, 50+, teeth in a glass of steradent and live on pizza and junk food.
I DO HOPE I'M WRONG, slc - and if i am in this case, i do sincerely apologise, but if not, get the story right first, sort your life out and DONT waste our time.
There seems to be a lot of what you describe going on here - one minute they say this and then change their mind - are they for real? I doubt it very much - so just enjoy seeing answers on their threads from people who care - sad really is'nt it?
Probably bald, 50+, teeth in a glass of steradent and live on pizza and junk food.
I DO HOPE I'M WRONG, slc - and if i am in this case, i do sincerely apologise, but if not, get the story right first, sort your life out and DONT waste our time.