My Dad doesn't know when my birthday is?!?!

[CAJ1]

Not been on for a while so firstly, hi everyone! :)

Secondly, I have recently started talking to my father after 10 years of not having any contact, I was 15 when we last talked. He emailed me today asking when my birthday was... is it me over reacting or should he not know when the birth of his daughter was?! Or is it just a case of men being crap with dates?

[poodicat]

Hi caj1,i would have been upset if my dad couldnt remember my birthdate...

[Greedyfly]

Hello Caj,

I would also be upset but I suppose it all depends on the details of why you had no contact with your father. At least he has shown he cares by asking, I would focus on that and they fact you are now in contact.

[pink-kittens]

my dad sometimes thinks my birthday is on a different date than it actually is - I'm not offended or hurt by it but my parenst are still together plus I am a parent myself and have to think sometimes when it comes ot BD's

Did he know what month? My day knows that it's the actual date he sometimes gets wrong

[China Doll]

You haven't spoken to him for ten years so it's not really suprising he doesn't know and I thnk it's nice that he asked.

I still consistently forget my father, both sisters and most of my friends birthdays. I have to write it on the calendar and people tend to remind me as well, if I didn't, I'd just never send cards or prezzies... Having a bad memory for birthdays isn't really a fatal flaw.

[lumination]

i have the same realtionship with my father. i dont talk to him unless he contacts me first, long story. but i would be very angry if he asked me that out of the blue! tell him your birthday date and nothing else. if he wants to start having a conversation with you again he can carry it on, not you. x

[CAJ1]

Hi Poodicat, he doesn't mean an awful lot to me at the minute so it didn't hurt as much as if he had loved me and been there but I was still shocked that he could actually forget

[mccfluff]

i never remember my families birthday!

[poodicat]

I always remember my families birthdays...

[Bobbisox]

hello CJ pet, I remember when he contacted you and how unsure you were yet pleased, I am not sure what to say as this man is your Dad, only it seems very sad of him to have done this to you, and yes, he should know when your birthday is pet,x

[CAJ1]

Thanks for all the answers, he really had no clue of what age I would roughly be, the month or the year let alone the actual date. I remembered his even though I've not spoken to him in 10 years and I know exactly how old he is. He was about up until I was 15 so experienced all my birthdays during that time.

I think Greedyfly makes a good point of focussing on the fact that he is in contact with me now.

Just finding it hard at the moment, I'm trying to forgive him but he keeps doing things. There was this, then I asked him to send photos of me from when I was younger and he sent me a school photo of my sister and he made a joke of what had happened which was not funny at all.

[paddywak]

I must confess to being terrible with birthdays etc, the only one I never forget is one of my sisters and thats only because it's on St Valentines Day

[CAJ1]

Hi bobbi, you can say what you like about him lol! x

I could understand if you maybe forgot your sisters or friends birthday but I find it hard to get my head around that your father would forget, he was there when you were born and you're his daughter.

[ummmm]

My Dad never remembered my birthday and he adored me.

Don't be offended by it.

[Greedyfly]

My sister has a different father to myself and she has never known her dad because he wants nothing to do with her. She has found that hard, I think I would also. As I said before I would be upset also but at least he is trying now, better late than never?!

[Hopkirk]

Us men are not genetically programmed to remember dates - look how many of us get into trouble with wedding anniversaries.

Women on the other hand are good at it - sometimes obsessively so. Some of them remember six month anniversaries of meeting boyfriends.

Forgive him, it's just the way we are.

[ummmm]

I should have been a bloke....

[Sqad]

I don.t remember my 4 sons birthdays or the grandchildren s...........no big deal.

[CAJ1]

Mixed replies, some of you do and some of you don't!

For those of you that don't remember do you think you would have some sort of idea if you sat there and really thought about it?

[Sqad]

caj....." some sort of idea"............perhaps........but don´t bet on it.

[ummmm]

CAJ...my Dad knew my birthday was before his. He remembered my Mums because it's two days before Christmas. That's about it.

I use to phone him a week before a birthday...then he'd give me money to buy that person a present. I'd wrap it and drop it round his....then he'd turn up on the day and pretend it was him :-)