Should parents pay towards Daughters 2nd marriage?

[lilacben]

My daughter is getting married again to her partner of 11 years. they have three children. Should we pay towards it this time ? As she had the full big wedding thing the 1st time and we paid a lot towards it. I have told her I will make the wedding cake for them.She is 38.

[B00]

Tell her to bugger off.

Cheeky bag. 38 and expecting parents to pay? hahaha!

[anneasquith]

no.

[askyourgran]

I think that after 11 years with her partner she should be pretty settled without you having to cough up again, the cake will be enough.

[micmak]

Don't pull your punches Boo. Tell it like it is. LOL

[society]

What? Does she have a conscience...?

[B00]

sorry, perhaps i was a bit too blunt.

I can only assume that lilacben's daughter has asked or is expecting her to cough up for some if not all the wedding. And i can only answer as I would if my daughter at that age, and on the 2nd marriage asked me such a question.

First my gob would drop open, id ask, incrediously "you have to be kidding me?" then I collapse laughing.

[micmak]

That would be my reaction too Boo.

[redcrx]

no, you paid for her wedding already.

if i buy my kids a toy and they break it, i dont replace it :)

[carmalee]

Is the daughter expecting you to cough up ? Maybe she is a proper grown up and realises what you've done for her in the past. A cake and your support is brilliant.

[boxtops]

No, she is an adult - the concept of parents paying for the wedding was to launch their daughter into the married state, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents to pay towards my second wedding. The family offered financial help towards various aspects of it but that was by way of wedding presents, not as well as.

[karenmac60]

I've been married twice - once at 22 and once at 34, and I would never have dreamed of asking my parents for money for either wedding. If she can't afford it then she has to scale it down, simple as that! You've paid to raise her and you've already paid towards one wedding, it's about time she stood on her own two feet!

[joko]

no, just do the cake and offer to help organise etc, but no reaosn why you should pay

[carmalee]

have come back on this thread cos I havent had an answer to my question - is the daughter expecting a big contribution? Most of the posts seem to be anti daughter - is she in fact, expecting a contribution or is lilacben asumming she does?

[lcg]

no...although my parents stupidly stumped up (again) for my brother's 2nd wedding last year. i wonder if i could swindle them for two grand? not on your nellie...x

[craft1948]

I'd have asked for my money back from the first.........

[brenda]

No -- spend the money on a holiday and then then you can miss the whole do , if you want .

[I.Don No]

there is only one answer to this question....a big fat NO!

[JOLENE12]

i paid for my first wedding - a small registry office do, though my family did the buffet. Second time round, 14 years later, my parents paid a lot towards it as i had a lovely whiteish wedding at a nice hotel.. But only because they wanted to, we had a smaller scale wedding planned. We paid as much as we could...

[andy-hughes]

I think it depends on individual feeliongs, and finances.

If you are able to offer a contribution, and feel comfortable in doing so, then fine - if it will leave you short of money, then no, i am sure they can finance the celebrations themselves.

You have not said whether your daughter has askedm ir is assuming you will pay - so some answers may be upbraiding her unfairly.

You should discuss it with your daughter and her future husband and work out the way forward that works for you.