dilema 13 year old daughter being picked on

[zzxxee]

My 13 year old daughter is being picked on by the lad that lives next door but is also in her year at school
she wears a sports style bra as she is not comfortable with ones that fasten at the back
the kid next door has been taking the mickey out of her for this and constantly goes on about the size of her bust and how babyish she is for not wearing a " grown " up bra .she is usually resilient, but this is getting her down.
I get on with the lads mother we are not close neighbours but say hello. I just dont know how to approach this and wether to see her first or go up to the school as most of the bullying takes place there. its getting her down quite a bit any suggestions would be appreciated
TIAXX

[MickyMacgraw]

Tonyted who wants to see a little kid being beaten up just because of curiosity mixed with a little silliness? This could lead to the big sister being arrested, hardly a satisfying conclusion.

[zzxxee]

i am seeing his mum later so will post how it went !!

[yogi-bear]

Hi zzxxee,

Just read through posts.....easy does it and as salla and andy h, to name but a couple, suggest, just have a nice quiet word with his Mum and see what she says. Hope you get it sorted and let us know the outcome, my lovely, Good luck x

[zzxxee]

thanks bear x

[annie0000]

Sorry to hear about this zzxxee.

There are a few likely scenarios that will come from speaking to his Mum. Hopefully she will take on board what you say and speak to her son and it will stop. There is a possibility that she will take it on board, speak to her son and it doesn't stop. You then go to the school and you end up no longer on speaking terms with your neighbour but the school sort the issue, or the mum doesn't take it on board and you need to go straight to the school and then you are still not on speaking terms. There is therefore a good chance that you and your neighbour will fall out over this, but I can't see how that can be avoided unless scenario 1 happens. Your only other alternative is to go straight to the school and then she may not speak to you as you went behind her back!

There is no easy answer and you definitely can't let it continue. Having been dealing with my son being bullied, I have been in a similar situation and the upshot is that the adults involved no longer speak to each other - neither do the kids. It's all a bit uncomfortable.

Let us know how it goes.

[McMouse]

Could your daughter just mention to the neighbour that her sons constant reference to her bra is getting her down.

[Bobbisox]

sadly zeee, like all mickey-takers, the lad won't know where to draw the line, if he is confronted by this chances are he will continue, I think you best see his Mum and tell her to deal with it and hopefully he will listen to her
Good luck x

[TTG]

Is there anything about the lad that your daughter can take the mickey out of? Lads of that age can be insecure about their looks. Even if it's not exactly true, if she goes on about it more than once, he will start to believe it is. She needs to make sure it is one on one. He might think twice then as the next step would be for your daughter to mention it in front of other kids. Hope it's sorted, he does sound very immature.

[andy-hughes]

TTG - these are children we are talking about, and a simple case of teasing that has gone too far.

Trying to instigate mind-games of the sort you advocate will solve nothing, except to teach children that the winners are the most cunning, the most abusive, and the most thick-skinned who can get more people on their side.

In adults, that kind of thinking leads to wars

[zzxxee]

she has told him to stop and he wont she has also tried ignoring him but it hasnt worked but enough is enough now !!!

[jaydah]

so easy to demorilise a 13y lad; say he has a weenie todger and needs to learn to p1zz straight.

[zzxxee]

shes tried every comeback you cab think of i think

[MickyMacgraw]

If you're asking zzxxee a grownup to talk about the kids penis then I really don't think that demoralizing mentioning a 13 yr old childs penis is a good idea.
If you are saying that her daughter should say this then wouldn't this then arise to the question of how she got to see his penis which could then be used as ammo by the boy in question?

[Bobbisox]

I think Mum is the best answer zeee

[jaydah]

Bounce this off the walls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOCCq0gjvrE

[zzxxee]

now theres a reason i hadnt thought of jaydah lol

[jaydah]

I married the bloke I hated most just to make his life miserable.

[zzxxee]

pmsl you have cheered me up jaydah thanks xx

[joko]

i know its giving in a bit to the bully...but this would take away his 'ammo'

get an old bra, cut off the straps...just the back bit with the catch ...and sew it onto the material of the sports bra...stopping under the arms.

if he touches the strap he will feel a normal bra...

he wont be able to say anything any more

i know you shouldnt have to do this, but might just shut him up...and stop any animosity with your neighbour...