The Answerbank Radio Show - Episode 10

[mrs_overall]

In the village of Answerbank Under The Wold (twinned with Pearl Harbour, Hawaii) the villagers gathered in the Quizzes & Puzzles Arms were in a good mood. The newly formed Book Reading Group were excited as they awaited the arrival of SunnyDave who had gone to collect a consignment of Fifty Shades of Grey - a book that had been sold out for weeks.Two of the recently unemployed lapdancers had found work. Starbuckone was celebrating her new job in Mazies Food & Drink Emporium. She had told Mazie that she was a qualified Barista and Mazie had replied "Never mind love, I'm sure something will crop up soon, but in the meantime you have a job with me as you are the only person who can work that blasted coffee machine."
Kikifrog had also found work, as a fitness instructor at the Body & Soul Holistic Centre & Owl Sanctuary. She was telling her friends that her first class was Circuit Training Followed By Hot Stones.
"Is that an exercise class and then a hot stone massage?" queried Ann86.
"Not exactly" replied Kiki. "You do an hour's circuit training and if you begin to falter, I pelt you with heated rocks to speed you up."
At the bar, Gness was enthralled as Murray"The Mauler"Mints (World Female Wrestling Champion 1984) talked about some of her famous wrestling holds.
"My favourite move is the Half Nelson with Flugelhorn and from that I move straight into a Triple Whammy with Polka."
Tonyav was eavesdropping and thinking Murray was talking about her favourite sexual positions, he gave her what he thought was his most winsome smile.
"Tony, have you got wind or something?" asked Gness.
Craft was also in a good mood and was on her 9th double gin. Having taken pity on ChinaDoll, she had agreed to take her on as a lodger and had installed her in the spare bedroom next to the wetroom. Chinadoll had been disappointed to find the wetroom was actually a bedroom that was unusable as faulty guttering allowed rain in.
All heads turned as SunnyDave entered the bar and headed straight for the large table in the corner. From the depths of his flowered shopping trolley he produced several books and handed them round.
"Hang on" said Ms AYG "this isn't the book we wanted."
"Yes it is, you all agreed you wanted to read this one" grumbled SunnyDave.
Ms TTFN picked up a copy, adjusted her bifocals and read the title.
"Fifty Shades of Grey - An Autobiography of a Painter and Decorater."
SunnyDave ducked as the first book was thrown. It sailed across the room and hit Tonyav squarely on the nose.
As he began to bleed copiously all over the new pub carpet, Murraymints moved swiftly into action and clamped a soiled teatowel to his nose.
Their eyes met. Having given up on finding her mysterious blind date, she rapidly assessed Tonyav as a potential suitor. If you ignored his ample bottom, broken nose, the fact he smelled faintly of goat mixed with Old Spice, was wearing his mother's favourite pink dirndle skirt, one hobnailed boot and one slipper, a neck brace and was covered in a variety of interesting bruises, he could be classed as passable. Murray admitted she did have standards, albeit fairly low ones.
"So Tonyav, do you like wrestling by any chance?"

(cue theme music as episode ends)

[DTCwordfan]

people in the café here think I am half mad as I am laughing out aloud.......

[DTCwordfan]

poor toneeeeeeeeeeee

very good mrs o - the funniest yet, I think, or maybe it's just my mood.

[mrs_overall]

DT - the people in the cafe are only confirming what we on AB already know ;-)

[vodkancoke]

Very good Mrs O x

[mccfluff]

Oh thats fantastic :-)

[gness]

Well, I am hiding in the spare room (daughter thinks I am crazy) with newly applied mascara running down my cheeks!

Can hardly type. This shouldn`t be read alone...risk of heart failure through lack of breath is too great.

Wonderful!

[tonyav]

Oh gawd a broken nose now to go with my other very unfortunate injuries ( back up the the A&E again ) looks like murraymints also wants to use the Boston crab on me or the Irish whip !, why do I get the feeling that this date is not going to go well for me :-(

[sunny-dave]

Trollope would be proud ... :+)

[Ann]

How did you know I need exercise Mrs O? LOL ;)

[Psybbo]

This is better than The Archers, it really should be on the radio (too bloody for TV). Brilliant but the mental image of poot tony is hilarious. Well done, keep 'em coming.

[excelsior-1]

this is getting very juicy

[mrs_overall]

Thank you all for your kind words.

Sibton, I haven't forgotten you, just be patient.

Next episode on Wednesday.

[excelsior-1]

then - roll on wednesday

[Psybbo]

Mrs_o, I'm very happy, sitting (safely) in the audience!

[TOWIE]

Another great episode, Mrs.O. Poor Tonyav he is going to be scared both mentally and physically for the rest of his life, he will never lift another monkey rench or loosen another bolt or screw another <<......ahem ! well thats enough of that......{:o(

[craft1948]

I feel I'm being libelled in this series and may have to ask BM for legal advice re a) 9th double gin b) steaming open the mail c) being (at one point) 4'5" tall and d) denigration of my wet room..................

[mrs_overall]

Craft, you may need BM for legal advice sooner than you think. There is still the unresolved matter of the mysterious disappearance of Mr Craft no. 7....

[albaqwerty]

Poor Tony my bahookie. If you've seen what I saw................


Priceless Mrs O, excellent xx

[flump1]

Brilliant Mrs O !!

[craft1948]

He hasn't disappeared.............he's just disguised as................????