Fishing

[lindapalmara]

Fishing:

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A tipsy- looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' the old man said simply.

'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth today,' the old man answered.

[maggiebee]

Nice one Linda x

[BlackadderV]

Reminds me of the one about the nun who was found collapsed outside the pub. A concerned passer-by helped her up and went into the pub to ask for a double brandy to take out. The landlord said,"It's not that bloody nun again, is it?"

[AlwaysConfused]

On the subject of free drinks:
A man walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
The man answers, "A scotch on the rocks, please."
The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five quid."
"What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this," the man replies.

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he has a point there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
The bartender, now *** off, says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for this one. But don't ever come back here again!"

A few days later, the same man walks into the bar.
The bartender says, "What do you think you're doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"

The man says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"

The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. I feel like you were here a few days ago. You must have a double."
To which the man replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."

[marval]

I like it.

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer.

The bartender looks at the drunk man and says, "I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink."

The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer.

Again the bartender says, "I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!"

Ten minutes later, the same guy comes through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man, "I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!"

The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, "My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!"

[lindapalmara]

Even more funny!!