Janet Is Confused By Ovens....

[gness]

.....S and P have headed up to the mountains in a hired car.......Janet and John are staying around here with hired bikes....(bliss....the motorists here are wonderful and so thoughtful towards cyclists...what a difference)

Anyway......Janet and John stopped for cocktails on the way back from today's birding and Lord only knows what was in John's cocktail but he's three sheets to the wind......so Janet said she would cook......methinks she may have been a tad tipsy if she's offering to cook......prick and ping is as far as she goes as a rule......

But the oven!.....It's not a fan oven....which Janet has had some experience with.....but a silent oven.......you switch it on and it just sits there...making no noise......

Can't be doing much....thinks Janet...so she turns it up....and up.....and Janet being Janet then goes off to crochet a hat for Knit for Peace......and discovers that....

Silent ovens do cook things.....in fact they can burn things......but hey....John doesn't look as if he knows what he'll be eating...... :-)

[tonyav]

What has Janet just cremated ?.

[maggiebee]

I could be Janet's twin when it comes to ovens!

[wolf63]

Sober him up before you let him loose on a bike.

[sunny-dave]

John says "What's for tea?"

Janet says "Sucking Pig"

John isn't quite sure he has heard correctly, but right now is too relaxed to care ...

[gness]

I don't really know, Tony......It was some sort of traditional pork I think....to my shame I'm useless at languages....
It did look nice on the picture......I think they must have air brushed it......
I did stick some chips in though....but they weren't oven chips, clever dick now tells me, so they never cooked properly....

They are confusing aren't they, Maggie....I once house sat for friends for two weeks and never ever managed to turn the flaming thing on....x

Wolf.....I will....he sang as he cycled home this evening......I thought we'd be arrested before we reached the apartment.....x

[tonyav]

but right now is too relaxed to care ...

( me thinks that translates to half cut ) ;-)

[237SJ]

I went on a horse trail riding holiday in Portugal. We were in a restaurant and the waiter put down this bowl of white things which seemed to be resting in olive oil and herbs. I asked him what they were but my Portugese is limited and he didn't speak English. He kept pointing to his ears so I thought that he wanted me to ask him again and speak a bit louder. It turned out that the reason that he was pointing to his ears was because he was trying to tell me that the white things were bits of pig's ears. I 'coughed' the pigs ears into my hand and threw them out of the window. My friend who was a veggie nearly threw up.

[DTCwordfan]

Just one Pigeon Cremato

Give it to me,

Delicious cucina, from Janet of Little Venice, once Italy,

Creamy once-rare meat and herby dream

Give me a Janet Cremato,

From Gness's bothy by the stream

Peace......

[gness]

John has now turned green and headed for the booze cupboard......

John is wondering if Janet has fed him, whilst he was in his cups......bits of pigs ears......

See Janet smile.... :-)

[tonyav]

bits of pigs ears......

Ah but a few pork scratchings always go down well with a pint.

[237SJ]

They weren't like pork scratchings. You couldn't chew them and swallow them because they were like rubber and disgusting. Never again

[gness]

Gness junior once sent a packet of pork scratchings to her dad......for fun...
The postie left them on the step and they were stolen.....
I really wanted to see the face of the clown who opened the stolen package in anticipation of riches and found.........pork scratchings.... :-)

[tonyav]

Thanks for the warning,237SJ.
Don't think I'll ever ask for scratchings in Portugal.

[DTCwordfan]

Just one Pork Scratching

Give it to me,

Delicious pickings, from Tonyav

Burnt and boozed, a Euro dream

Give me a Janet Scratching,

From Gness's bothy by the stream

Peas......or Peace

at least it isn't soaked in minty's broon...

[tonyav]

soaked in minty's broon...


Mmmmmm, could just eat a bacon sarnie.

[gness]

237...with the best will in the world I can't think of anything edible in a pig's ear......even if you fried it...but floating in oil sounds disgusting....

[237SJ]

It was the cartilage. Never again

[Barmaid]

Oh now you've mastered that oven you can come and master this one. It works as good as new. Unfortunately, it was probably new in 1976............

I have taken to hob cooking only and view the oven as an additional cupboard.

[gness]

Oh, Barmaid....believe me....and John....I have not mastered this oven...I'm still trying to turn the blasted thing off.....John is no good at all......he's just smiling and singing songs about heatwaves....and great balls of fire....
He seems to think that great balls of fire are what I served up tonight..... ;-(

[tonyav]

Hope that song doesn't change into Ring Of Fire by morning ;-)