Shocked

marval | 21:02 Mon 15th Oct 2018 | Jokes

2 Answers

The man who lives on the farm next to me just put some strange metal wire around his field. For the last few days I just couldn’t put my finger on it, and when I finally did I was shocked.

I had a one night stand recently, and to be honest, I would have much preferred sitting.

The local farmer has made it easier for people to get in and out of his fields. I like his stile.

I won’t be using my faulty bathroom scales anymore. I’ve seen the error of my weighs.

I accidentally mistook Clearasil for toothpaste; my teeth are spotless.

I have put in so many shifts where I work recently that they’ve decided to fire me. Keyboard manufacturing isn’t as easy as it looks.

I had to undergo an emergency marrow transplant yesterday. It was too late though, my vegetable soup was ruined.

Last night I dropped a bottle of wine and three beers. I can’t handle my drink.

All my life I have wondered where I am from. I have asked my closest friends and relatives, but no one seems to know. Personally, I think I am from Notre Dame, don’t ask me why, I have just got a hunch.

I had some health and safety training the other day, they told me to always lift with my knees. After three hours I discovered it is so much easier with your hands.