help with overweight 13yr old?

[ilovemarkb]

I need some guidance on how much to be feeding to my 13yr old step son He,s 12.4 stone and 5ft3in. He,s now classed as obese, and round his tummy is 39 inches. I give him the same meals as my two sons but my two are very healthy weights but they are more active. I know the basic rules of eat less and more exercise, but dont want him to think that im starving him. He lives with me and his dad through the week and goes to his mums on a weekend, where i suspect he has a pig out although he denies it! any help any abbers???

[MEJ]

Have you talked to your stepson about his weight? My guess would be that he's as aware of his size as you are and might want to do something about it himself anyway. He's getting to the age where his image is going to start becoming important to him. Explain the negative effects of obesity or show him some articles on the internet about obesity in children and then try and work together on a plan, whether it's smaller portion sizes, more fruit and veg, less snacking on junk food, or both of you getting out and doing some exercise - cycling, walking, swimming, tennis etc. He needs to understand that you are doing this for him, not punishing him. Don't worry too much about what happens at the weekends - as he starts to feel better in himself, he may ask his mum to do more healthy meals anyway. Good Luck!

[sleepy1j]

my son does about 9 hours of pe a week at school .just dont have any rubbish in the house .its hard with so much nice food every where ..get him out on a bike go swimming just get out as much as u can with him .

[Velvetee]

You can only do so much, in regard to giving him a healthy, balanced diet, as you will have no control over what or how much he is eating away from home. I think you should just encourage him to be more active and perhaps help educate him about healthier options.

The important thing, is that he is participating in regular exercise.

[Totterdown]

What is your husband's role in this? Could he not get involved and maybe have a word with your stepson's mother? Then all 4 of you work together maybe with a doctor's help. He should not be this weight at his age.

[DanAB]

a paper round is a nice little bit of exercise, and on the plus side he will also have around �20 a week to spend on himself.

[Pigletion]

How about some group exercise activities. Like a walk after dinner, a bike ride, Wii fit. Do the other two boys get along with him ok, as they could all go out together (without the embarrassing parents). What about a sport, like rugby? (yes, I play rugby, so I am biased, but it does also cater for a lot of different shapes and sizes and doesn't involve having to wear swimming attire!). Sport also gives you targets to aim for. Weight should fall off boys of that age once they become active.

Could also make the meals on the whole more healthy, to try and ingrain in him that healthy food does not have to be horrible. Similarly, make sure fruit is used as a snack etc.

I think a gentle talk would also be good, as he is probably aware of his weight and would probably like a little assistance in shifting it. Getting rid of the excess weight now will be so much easier than when he is older.

It also sounds like he may be carrying all his weight round his middle. I am 5"3' (ish) and probably about half a stone lighter (and female), but I do not have that waist measurement. I admit I have always been active and do possess a lot of muscle, but it seems a bit strange to me. Weight around the middle is often used as an indicator for heart disease etc. so there are health concerns to worry about too.

I think the fact you're worried is a good sign. I think his Dad definitely needs to have a word with his Mum as she probably thinks she is spoiling him as she only sees him for the weekend. She may not realise the effect she is having on him...

I think as long as you put the emphasis on health and well being,not size and weight, everything will be fine.

[ilovemarkb]

Thanks some excellent advice. Weve enrolled him in our local gym where there is a class for 11-15 yrs twice a week.. He,s agrred to have packed lunches for school. I will try and persuade his dad to have a word with his mum. Hope you lot dont think im cruel but ive also printed some images of fatty arteries,diabetic ulcers and some before and after pics of large children! THANKYOU