Teenager help needed

[hammerman]

I have a lovely 14 year old daughter who i absolutely worship. She's got a little job recently working 3 hours sat, sun and the odd eve...but never more than 9 hours a week.

Now she's earning good money. She works in a pub kitchen doing odds and sods prepping food, washing up etc and sometimes, her wages can be doubled from the tips that are handed out to staff by the owners. She brought home £70 the other week and most weeks gets £40-£50

I opened her a bank account and she has a debit card.

Now, should i, as her dad, interfere with what she does with her money because since she started work back in early August, she only has about £100 in her bank account.
I've tried advising her that she should try to save at least half her money but i don't know where it's going. She's not a smoker and i'd know if she was on anything else but i think she is just blowing it on rubbish and costa coffees for her and her mates.

Should i butt in or just let her get on with it...it would break my heart if she was just wasting £50 a week on nothing.

Thanks

[albaqwerty]

Encourage her to save about 20 quid a week as she could then have a nice lot of cash to buy presents for her nearest and dearests from HER own money. It might give her a warm feeling to have achieved this.

As she's only recently started, she's discovered a whole new world of financial freedom so it'll be a novelty for her for a while.

[Brinjal]

Try and encourage her to save by mentioning all the gadgets and cute clothes she can have if she puts some money aside.

[hammerman]

I suggested to her that she puts the money in the bank each week...which would amount to around £200 a month. Then, once a month, go out and spend half of it. Do the same each month and she should build a bit up.

Maybe as mentioned, it's a bit of a novelty at the moment.

[hammerman]

But do i have any right to interfere ? It's her money and she works hard for it !!!!

[lcg]

yes interfere.....she is 14 and the learning curve of independence has just started! keep it cool and offer suggestions, and good luck x

[albaqwerty]

^^ yes, what ICG has said, agree wholeheartedly.

[boxtops]

I agree with lcg and alba - tell her that if she saves she can buy the iPad, have spending money for her holidays etc. I bet she's buying bits of makeup and other girly things (and yes, Costas, over £2 a cup!)

[mumstheword1]

I have done the same with both my children since they were an early age, whatever money they got they had to save half but the other half they could spend on whatever they want and believe me they spent it on some rubbish in their time, son is now 20 in university and has over £8000 in that account and daughter 17 has £4000 he is going to but car soon and she is taking driving lessons. They are both glad now they I insisted they do that xx

[boxtops]

That's a thought, mums - the incentive of driving lessons might appeal to hammerman's daughter.

[Maydup]

Yes interfere, you're still the parent but be gentle. Just as you would if she did anything else which was a bit unwise. Suggest and guide but if that doesn't work then be firmer at least for the next year or so.

[Zacs-Master]

I completely disagree that you should interfere. If she's mature enough to go out and get herself some employment, she's mature enough to do what she wants with it. It may seem like wasting it to you but to her it probably represents freedom and will have given her a little status with her friends which is a very important part of growing up and gaining confidence, so in a way she's investing it in her future.

[woofgang]

I agree with Zac's master. If you interfere and insist, she is less likely to learn self control. Better that she should get the lesson of "if you spend it till its all gone, you wont have it" at 14 than at 20. Discuss saving and good habits with her by all means but keep it light.
With respect, if you break your heart over her spending money on rubbish, what will you do when she really screws up?

[China Doll]

My parents wouldn't have interfered but if I was earning £50 a week then I would probably have to give £10 a week of it to my mum every week as a contribution to the household expenses. I think that's a sensible approach.

[harman777]

This is difficult to answer.
My 2 daughters did a part time job and the oldest spent her first weeks earnings in stupid things like sending piles of texts on her pre pay phone.
She had no money after about 3 days and I did not rescue her from the situation.
This did not happen to my second daughter as I think she saw the errors of her older sister's ways.
Since then they saved about 60% of their money.
They both got good jobs starting the next business day after they left school but there was little public transport to them and of course they had to be in different directions.
They used most of their savings to get the cars with mine and my wife's help and we managed to leave them with about £500.
We did not charge them rent when they were living at home but we made a rule they had to save half of their net income and I checked they did this.
They did however replace their cars when they got to 5 years old using some of the savings.
They are now both married and had substantial deposits for their houses and their husbands have a similar attitude to money.
Both myself and both in laws did chip in with some more money towards the house and I am going to use some of my retirement lump sum to reduce their mortgages as I could not afford the amount the in laws gave at the time but it will now be made up.

[hammerman]

Thank you for all your answers. There will always be the spenders and the savers in life....my daughter will probably be the former.

I feel i need to interfere for the first year and insist she saves half her money, I think spending £25 a week at age 14 is quite enough. Obviously the savings are there if she wants the latest phone etc but it will teach her to save for things.

Thank you again.

[bednobs]

does she get pocket money HM?

[hammerman]

No. She's never had pocket money as such but if she's needed some money, it's always been there for her if she wanted that pair of earings or wanted to go swimming with her pals.

[tamborine]

Remind her how hard it is to earn & persuade her save. A lot is spent/wasted on android phone contracts & calls; the bottomless pit for swallowing money.

She could be using her income on courses to improve her future employment status.

[EDDIE51]

Not sure if there may be a problem but have you checked the law regarding a 14 year old working in a licenced premises and what is classed as a hazardous place ( commercial kitchen) ? She can not enter the bar area when the pub is open or the landlord will be committing an offence against the licencing act. As she is under school leaving age the types and places she can work are restricted.

[chattykathy]

I believe, as a parent it is your duty to guide your daughter in all matters. I work in drug education and one of the 'protective factors' is the young person not having access to a lot of money as well as a host of others, obviously. I am not at all suggesting she is involved in anything like this but it's always better to be safe rather than sorry.