I also became interested in (as a result of my fascination with psychology and the workings of the brain) hypnosis,mind altering drugs,the techniques of mind control etc.
But was I looking for "something"? Undoubtably.
Did I find anything? No. Not anything that couldnt be explained rationally anyway.
As Ive stated elswhere on A.B I had more than a passing curiosity about the bible and religion in general during my R.E. lessons at school, but it was only when I REALLY began to look into it that my atheism started to take hold as none of these beliefs held up in the cold light of day.
So what DO I believe?
I believe that life has no particular meaning except than the one we choose to give it . I believe that man is no more than an animal with its own unique set of instincs and drives. I believe in living for now, as there is no afterlife.And I believe that life can be cruel and hard, and that is why religious belief can be a comfort in the face of adversary.
However, as a rationalist, I also believe in love, kindness, compassion and forgiveness...because I experience them daily.I dont need god or belief or religion for that.
Finger..I have had some dreadful times in life (havnt we all)
Broken relationships, addiction problems, prison sentences, psychiatric hospitals, and even suicide attempts. there was no god there for me.But there was the love of those close to me.
Nowadays Im more level headed and my family give me meaning.I have the love of a fantastic woman, I have a great son and a great stepson, I appriciate just been alive and experiancing new things.
Life is just as good without religious belief as it is with it...