How Do I Know He’s The Right One For Me?

[Lily399]

I’ve been on 3 dates in the last week with this guy I’ve been speaking to for three months, he’s everything I want in someone and the most amazing person I’ve ever met, but I don’t know how to know my connection with him is the best I’ll get with anyone despite having a good one with him. He has all the traits I want in someone all besides one which is laughing 24/7 with someone, I always say I want this with someone as I love it, we do laugh of course and I enjoy my time with him I just don’t get that and I don’t feel giddy which I’ve also felt like in the past with people, are you meant to feel giddy? Or doesn’t it matter. I don’t know if some of it is comparing too much to my ex despite the fact I’d never wanna get back with him as he did me wrong, but we had an amazing connection so I think it’s easy to compare because of that, this guy has so many traits he did not though it’s just that that’s missing I feel, am I putting too much emphasis on this As no one is going to be the same? I also get cold feet over every situation in life and I struggle making decisions so much as I have adhd which makes this really difficult. I also have ran away from people the last three years especially as I have been cheated on and emotionally manipulated in the past so I don’t know if that makes my cold feet worse as I get severe anxiety around relationships, he is the first person I have gone on dates with since my ex because of this, however I feel so comfortable around him and he is everything I want in someone despite that one trait I feel is missing, I also put a lot of pressure on myself to find the right person straight away too which probably doesn’t help, how do I know if it’s cold feet or if he just isn’t the perfect match for me? Also are you meant to feel giddy?

[dannyk13]

First question is how old are you?

[bednobs]

after 3 dates you are not meant to know if he's "the right one" or not. I'm still trying to figure out if Mr bednobs is the right one after 20 years of marriage

[pastafreak]

Three dates...in spite of chatting for 3 months...is nothing. You really don't know much about him, it takes time for that. Ask the question 6 months or a year from now. Ask when you are totally comfortable with him. Ask when you don't 'need' to ask...if you get that far.

[Cloverjo]

You seem very young, so don’t worry too much about if he’s ‘the one’. If you enjoy being with him, carry on. When you don’t, leave him. He’ll do the same.

[andy-hughes]

As advised, you haven't known this man anything like long enough, or closely enough, to be thinking about commitment.

Take it easy, try to stop analysing and over-thinking, and see where it goes.

[maggiebee]

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. Plenty of time for you I think as you sound very young.

[anneasquith]

No disrespect Lilly. Get a hobby, the boys will always be around, no rush .

[ummmm]

Laughing 24/7 is very very unrealistic. When will you fit sleep in?

[anneasquith]

And sex ?

[Peter Pedant]

all this moiling and toiling is doin me ed in

[AuntPollyGrey]

14.09 14.06
Can't you see the OP is young and vulnerable? Or does it make you two feel good somehow having a laugh at a young persons anxieties?
As for you Anne -this girl could be 13........

[ummmm]

Seriously? If my child said they wanted a relationship where they laughed 24/7 I'd give them a reality check.

No matter how well you get on with a partner life will always throw things at you that will make you unhappy.

What is needed is love, support and understanding....and laughter is a great bonus.

If the OP is 13 then they shouldn't be meeting up with people from the internet.

[anneasquith]

If they are 13 years old........ maybe had a little too much experience with the opposite sex . ?

[dannyk13]

I don't think that she is going to give her age.

[Mozz71]

Lily, you don't know. You're early in the relationship, all I can say is be patient. Eventually, it'll dawn on you one way or another.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Ummmm thank you for that little lesson on relationships lol! You know you were taking the pee, you seem to be doing it a lot lately. Maybe you need to laugh a bit more.

[ummmm]

I was to be fair.

I do laugh a lot but obviously not all the time. Some things aren't funny :-)

[roopower]

Far to soon to know. Don't take it too seriously, tread slowly and you will know in time. There's no hurry.