Why Not Me?

[Ken4155]

Hi, i'm Milo, the guy in Ken's avatar. He's otherwise engaged at the moment but he foolishly left his laptop on and i have just read the following story. Now don't get me wrong, Ken's not a bad master when it comes to treats and walkies, etc, but he doesn't quite wait on me hand and foot. Those two fillies in the Royal household will have their own lackeys, who will have to jump whenever they're barked at, will have to play 'ball' whenever one is produced in front of them, and who will have to scratch Bluebell and Beth's arisses whenever they get a tad itchy.
I bark at Ken to be fed and he looks at his watch and shakes his head - such a stickler for 'feeding time' (i blame the army). I get one of my tennis balls and eagerly wag my tail at him but he mostly ignores the signs. So i drop it on his laptop; he just shakes his head and continues to study the racing form. And as for my itchy ariss, i have to slide along the carpet to scratch it. Quite embarassing - especially when we have visitors.
Why can't i live in a big, fancy gaff. Some dogs have all the luck.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/forget-corgis-there-s-a-new-top-dog-in-the-royal-household/ar-AA12MQBJ?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=1a0678c9b8d447f3b3d5ef30e0e1c080

[evadora]

Just be grateful you get fed, exercised and are warm and not a stray roaming the streets. Plus I am sure Ken loves you!!

[roopower]

Oh dear, Milo, we can't all have the luck of those two but just be grateful that you have someone who takes care of you, feeds you, keeps you warm and takes you out. Some poor dogs are out all the time and don't have anyone to love them.

[jourdain2]

Hi Milo, I'm Laking Tyke, Jourdain 2's amazing multiple-gened dog. She and MrJ2 are OK, and life's a lot better than when I was chucked out of a van onto a French motorway. I get fed now and go for walks (a bit boring t.b.h., I'd like to roam free and dig where I like, chase cars and fight other dogs, but they won't let me.
Mum ignores me completely when she's on her keyboard and she's even churning out stories about me and saying that I write rhymes (she calls it 'doggerel') she also doesn't give me titbits from the table. Dad does, when she's not looking.
I don't think I'd fit in well in a 'big, fancy gaff' and I think they might be a bit over-keen on baths.
Your billet sounds all right and at least you don't get people thinking you write rhymes!

[Ken4155]

Ha! You don't believe Ken writes all those poems he posts, do you, Laking Tyke? I'll let you into a little secret, it's me who writes them. He just passes them off as his own, bleedin' plagiarist.
Ken's my fourth 'roomy' - first woman couldn't handle me, 2nd lot already had two dogs and i spent just over a year at Ken's son' pad. That was great because there were kids there and i often got to share their sweets with them. Trouble was, there was already a dog there when i moved in, a big dopey Lurcher who thought he was the bees knees. Unfortunately, he proved he was the daddy one time when we got into an awful scrap and i was left bleeding from a rather large, gaping neck wound. The vet stitched me up and i felt sure that Ken's son would have got rid of old 'dopey' when i came out of hospital. He hadn't and Ken was asked if he wanted to have a new lodger.
Think i'll probably see out my days here with this one - he's a keeper :-)

[Smowball]

Lol, very funny!! Milo, I believe you : )

[wolf63]

Milo
You can get that Ken guy to set you up on instagram. £££$$$

[Ken4155]

^
What good's money to me. I'd only blow it on the dogs.

[wolf63]

I agree Milo, the top earner was a German Shepherd who has about three billion pounds.

Too much for a dog!

[Smowball]

Good god, how do the dogs earn this money??

[wolf63]

Smow - it's a crazy world, I think the dogs are celebs. The richest dog inherited mkney from his dad!!!!!

[Smowball]

That’s nuts lol!

[Ken4155]

I've just taken Ken for his morning walk and we came across a guy struggling with two dogs - i say dogs, one looked the size of a bear (the other was a Doberman) - so Ken took a path away from them. I stood my ground - the bigger they are, the harder they fall, right? - my stance making me look a lot bigger than i actually am. However Ken doesn't have much trust in me as a fighter so he gave the lead a sharp tug and we continued on our way.
We crossed a playground where a dad and his two kids were playing and i could see that they had sweets - again Ken tugged on the lead. Once back home, i sat dutifully waiting for my 'after-walk' treat and what did he give me? A Markie. And not even a proper one; one of those little, bitty mini ones. And I know full well he has some lovely, juicy chicken flavoured bites in that cupboard. Why couldn't he have given me one of them?
Hey up, he's made his brew and he'll be wanting the laptop to study the geegees. Don't let on i've been using it. Laters:-)