Urban Myth

[gazzawazza]

What's the best urban myth you've ever heard?

[xyzzyplugh]

Where the guy in a bar drinking with a stranger, he gets drunk, wakes up next morning out in the park alone, with back pains. Finds out he's been cut and stitched. He was victim to professional kidney thieves..

[gazzawazza]

Good one. Anymore???

[andy hughes]

The story about the old couple who ask their neighbours to look after their pet rabbit while they are on holiday. The first day the couple are away, the neighbours' Alsatian appears at the back door with the mud-encrusted rabbit in its jaws, stone dead. They decide to wash the poor pet and return it to its hutch, and feign ignorance, leaving the old folks to find the rabbit dead from 'natrual causes'. The neighbours wait in trepidation as the old couple return, and within five minutes, an ambulance appears and takes the old man away on a stretcher. Fearing that the shock of his pet's demise in his absence has caused heart failure, the neigbours go round to enquire after the old man's medical status. "It was the rabbit that caused his heart attack." confirmed the old lady. When asked if it was the shock of finding his beloved bunny dead in its hutch on their return that had shocked the old man, his wife replied, "Well it would really, Popsy died the morning we went on holiday. so we buried him in the garden before we left!"

[sft42]

ok here's my favourite.....a guy decides to do some work on his motorbike so as it's raining he wheels it inside his house and starts to work on it.....well after a lot of tinkering at it he decides to see if what he's done has improved it any so he jumps on and kicks her into life and as he left it in gear it promptly drags him through the patio windows......well out come the ambulance men and they take him off to hospital where they patch him up as best they can....in the meantime back at the house his missus is clearing the gaff of all the mess and she gets rid off the glass and other debris in the bin but she mops up some spilled petrol with paper towels and not wanting to put them in the bin for fear that it goes on fire she throws them into the toilet bowl....well after a while hubby comes home and goes to the can to contemplate his lot and have a smoke, well as is his habit when he's finished his cig he throws the doubt in the pan....bbboooommmmbbb...he's blown throught he toilet door...so back come the same two ambulance men and they happen to ask his wife what happened this time and when they hear they both laugh so much that they drop him of the strecher where he gets a broken arm the worst of his injuries to date.

[bluedolphin]

Maybe not the best but here is one..... When the Youskov family moved to North America, they kept in constant touch with their European relatives. Letters and parcels regularly made their way from one shore to another. After a long period of silence, a small box arrived from the U.S. Inside, carefully wrapped in tissue paper, was a jar of grey powder. There was no note, but since many of the previous parcels had contained ready-to-make packaged mixes, the European family members thought that this powder, too, was a mix that would be prepared by simply adding water. The sauce was made and served, but it wasn't the best they had eaten! Several days later, a letter arrived from the U.S. explaining that the father had died, and because he had always been homesick, he wished his ashes to be spread over his home town. Grandma hoped that the rest of the family would not be inconvenienced and that the letter would get to them before the ashes, which were being sent separately in a jar and were securely wrapped in tissue paper.

[Sky]

Not the BEST i've heard, but the only good one i can remember at the moment.. Driving home from a long business trip, a woman stops off at a petrol station to fill up. When she leaves and is back on the road she notices a man driving in the car behind her.. he follows her the entire journey back to her house, flashing his lights a number of times. The woman pulls up into her garage to find the car also stops behind her. Terrified, the woman sounds her horn repeatedly so her husband will come out of the house. When he comes out, she runs out of the car into his arms... that's when they notice the axe-wielding maniac in the back seat of >i her car - the other guy had seen him get in at the petrol station, and was trying to warn her.

[gazzawazza]

I've just remembered another one, the one about the guy whose wife keeps nagging him to replace some roof tiles at the back of the house.

As the house is on a slope, he can only reach the eaves from the front of the house, and as he only has one roof ladder, he decides that the safest way to reach the back of the house is to tie a rope to some secure point on the ground, the other end round his waist, then climb over the roof to get to the loose tiles at the back.

The trouble is, the secure point he chooses is the towball on his car.

While he's over the roof, toiling away, his wife comes out of the house to go shopping. Having developed tunnel vision (like women do when on a shopping trip) she fails to notice the ladders or the rope... She jumps in the car and speeds off to the shops admiring her newly painted nails...

Within seconds she hears a slight jerk followed by a yell... Looking around to see where the sound is coming from, she doesn't see her poor husband land in a heap in front of her and promptly runs him over!!!

Or did that really happen???

[simon_says]

One Saturday afternoon, a lady goes into a newsagent and buys a lottery ticket for that night, then goes home and gives it to her husband to look after. Later that evening, at a party hosted by the wife's sister, the lottery result comes on . The husband checks the ticket and jumps in the air... he had won! He then proceeds to tell his wife that he is leaving her and that he had been having an affair with her sister for the past "x" years. But..... the wife and her sister had planned the Lotto thing as a joke - taping the previous weeks' TV show and putting those winning numbers onto that weeks ticket, then playing the tape as if it where the actual winning lines... Good story. Heard it from two different people, who tried to tell me it was true!!

[xyzzyplugh]

not to spoil your quest Gw, but the whole collection is available at; http://www.snopes.com/index.html .end

[bluedolphin]

I saw that same lotto ticke trick on TV a show similar to Candid Camera .... a guy did it to his wife and taped her reaction on video and sent it in to the show. It was on ITV about 2 or three years ago.

[archhippy]

i was wondering whether the one about the bloke getting run over by his wife is true is it gazzawazza?

[gazzawazza]

Well the truth is Doodlebug, I really don't know now! I was told the story a few years ago by a very good friend who swears it was on the TV news in the "And Finally... " slot, but like all good urban myths, it seems very feasible doesn't it???!