non religious funerals

[venator]

I went to a funeral service at the local crematorium last week. The man wasn't religious at all, but got the standard service, with a priest who had to say he'd never met him.

The thought hit me that this is what I'd probably get when I go, and I felt there should be something more fitting, as I'm not religious either.

Does anyone have any ideas, please?

[NazNomad]

Interesting, I've never really thought about it until now ... but it seems there are other ways to a good send-off.

Non-Religious Alternatives - Humanist and Civil Funerals
http://www.ifishouldd...alternatives-c38.html

The British Humanist Association
http://www.humanism.org.uk/home

[boxtops]

You don't have to have a religious service at the crem - most of my family invented their own. The officiating vicar had to say a prayer at the end, but all the rest was secular or brought in aspects of other religions to suit the individual. Worth sorting out what you want, while you still can.

[NazNomad]

Thinking about this, I was going to start a (hopefully, but unlikely) serious thread about what funeral music people would want.
I expect that serious answers might be lost among the 'usual' though, regardless of where it's posted. :-))

[wolf63]

I was planning on not having a funeral service It is really, in my opinion, a waste of time and money.I am off back to bed - it is freeeeeeezing here.

Have fun.

;-)

[rowanwitch]

uncle had a non religious funeral gathering of friends and family at his home everyone wrote messages on the papier mache coffin and then the undertaker hame to take the body for cremation without any further ceremony....you could also hold it at the crem chapel you don't have to have the rentapriest

[starone]

There is the Circle of Life who will do the sort of celebration you want including spiritualism or just a celebration of your life. I have threatened my lot. I don't want anyone spouting anything sanctimonious over me.

[Llaura16]

Is it legal to be thrown overboard into the sea as my dad's a sailor and would probably prefer this method.

[bednobs]

hiya, i used to work for a hospice service, so have been to many funerals, including civil and humanist (which seem your best option)

[venator]

Thanks, everybody!

Pleasantly surprised at the proportion of serious posts...

I think I'll throw a pre-funeral party so I can drink the booze and smell the flowers.

I'll tell everyone that they needn't come to the crematorium - thanks Rowanwitch for that idea.

[I.Don No]

I have already specified that I want no part of my funeral to be religious, I have already lodged with my funeral plan that no priest or vicar should attend.

my funeral, my rules......simples

[MarkRae]

I can thoroughly recommend the humanist alternative. I'm a member of the British Humanist Association, and have to been to several extremely moving humanist funerals. I take your point about atheists being "received into the kingdom of heaven" by clerics who never even knew them - what total hypocrisy!

[haysi06]

Venator, I would also recommend a "Humanist" funeral. I'm not in the least bit religious and the Humanist funerals that I' ve been to are a celebration of life and very comforting.

[boxtops]

Burial at sea is not that easy, have a look at the attached - we looked into it as my mother fancied it. Thankfully she changed her mind before she died... http://www.facingbere...o.uk/BurialAtSea.html

[Buenchico]

It's worth remembering that nothing written in your will (or otherwise given as an instruction to your friends or relatives) is legally binding in relation to your funeral arrangements. You could state (for example) that you wanted to be cremated without any religious ceremony, but the person arranging the funeral could have your body interred with a Roman Catholic (or any other) ceremony if that was his wish. (Anyone, even a complete stranger, is free to arrange a funeral as long as he ensures that it's paid for, either by him or from the deceased person's estate).

Paying for the arrangements in advance can help to make it more likely that your wishes are carried out but the person arranging the funeral could still substitute their own arrangements if they were that bloody minded!

For what it's worth, my own will states:
"I desire that my body be cremated without ceremony and that my ashes be disposed of, also without ceremony, in any convenient refuse receptacle".

Chris

[haysi06]

ooh Buenchico I didn't know that and think a lot of folks do think that their wishes need to be adhered to.

[Barmaid]

What Chris says about funeral wishes is correct. Prepaying and preorganising is a great way of getting your own way!

I once saw a will that said "no flowers, no fuss, any old box will do, just make perfectly sure I am dead". My friend has adopted that, however he wishes his ashed scattered off a particular mountain in Scotland by me and another mate (who will doubtless be in our dotage by then). I am considering hiring a helicopter.

[wolf63]

I don't want a funeral service at all as it is a monumental waste of money. People go to funerals because they feel that they have to go - it isn't exactly a fun way of spending the afternoon.

My dad died during the night and I found him when I went to check up on him the next day. I phoned for an ambulance and because it was a sudden death the police were also involved. The undertakers then arrived and took over - you don't actually get time to sit down and decide on funerals/cremations etc. It would so easy to get herded into organising a funeral that was neither what the deceased or the bereaved wanted.

[seadogg]

Been unlucky enough to attend several this year including 2 where I spoke about the deceased.. Within the traditional religious shenanigans there is scope for music and poetry and more people are prepared to say a few words. A good priest makes a decent MC a poor one is worse than useless. This hybrid type of ceremony takes away the uneasiness of close relatives who may want a religious element and who listens to the incantations anyway? What surprises me is how jolly things become afterward and the free nosh helps as long lost cousins share a glass and a pork pie. We will eventually get to a state where purely secular funerals are the norm