ChatterBank0 min ago
Want to stop a person setting foot on my property how ?
62 Answers
My sister and myself own a house which our father lives in. He has a "girlfriend" who sold her house to move in with her parents only to have a row with her mother (who is going a little insane) and be thrown out by the police. My father very stupidly allowed her to go and live with him. Although they are in a relationship living together is out of the question and as predicted they have done nothing but argue and the final straw came when my sister went over last night and she basically wouldn't let him talk to her. My sister arrived at my house on the verge of an asma (sorry can't spell that one right) attack and if it weren't for the fact that I have an electronic medical device in the house that can help deal with such matters instead of calling my father 10 minutes later to tell him to get some damn back bone I'd have been dialing 999 and getting my sister to hospital.
The woman is supposed to be moving into a place tomorrow (whether that materializes or not is another matter). She has so far despite given £6'000 away to her daughters and spent £1'000 on a new hearing aid she didn't really need as her NHS one was fine has point blank refused to pay for her keep but has been treating our house like her own, (bossing my sister around).
I want this person out and never to return as enough is enough. If my dad really wants to see her he can go and see her. I do not want her on the property again once she leaves and if her new place mysteriously falls through I still want her OUT !
Is there something my sister and myself can get like a restraining order to stop her coming to the property again ?
The woman is supposed to be moving into a place tomorrow (whether that materializes or not is another matter). She has so far despite given £6'000 away to her daughters and spent £1'000 on a new hearing aid she didn't really need as her NHS one was fine has point blank refused to pay for her keep but has been treating our house like her own, (bossing my sister around).
I want this person out and never to return as enough is enough. If my dad really wants to see her he can go and see her. I do not want her on the property again once she leaves and if her new place mysteriously falls through I still want her OUT !
Is there something my sister and myself can get like a restraining order to stop her coming to the property again ?
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You don't need any court oder. She has no right to be in the property without your consent. Don't give consent. Lock the doors and don't let her in. If she has a key change the locks. If your dad lets her in, kick him out, unless he is also a joint owner of the property, he is an excluded occupier with no right to reside if you withdraw consent.
I don't get what your problem is with her. she bought a hearing aid, which is probably aesthetically more pleasing than the NHS version, and has given money to her kids. she's rowed with someone with mental health issues, and she likes your dad. can he not have a "girlfriend"? would you rather he moved out of your house so he can live as he chooses?
you and your sister hate her, which seems a bit irrational unless there's something I've missed, so obviously feelings would run high when you step in.
I don't get it.
you and your sister hate her, which seems a bit irrational unless there's something I've missed, so obviously feelings would run high when you step in.
I don't get it.
yes well I know we can deny her the right to enter the property. We don't want to kick our father out though. Essentially the house was owned by our parents, when they were getting divorced he convinced my mum (who was the one at fault) to gift the house to my sister and myself, this was to ensure that firstly the house remained intact and was not affected by the divorce as we were well aware that a row over it would just cost the house in solicitor fees. The second reason was so that our father retained use of the house. We don't want him out we want her out. He is free to do what he likes with the house as we consider it his until his deathwe have just had it put in our names in advance for it's safe keeping (from my mother and her family).
For his own good I do not want the partner there again, the next thing I know he will end up in court for hitting her or something and having already been through what my mother put him through and come off the worse (judge decided she was right) it won't look good and we would not be able to pin anything on her. I am a kind person and do plenty for charity but all she wants to do is take, be disruptive and not even give back a bit of "being normal for a change".
I wanted something like a police/court order to make it official so that hopefully she understands that this is it
For his own good I do not want the partner there again, the next thing I know he will end up in court for hitting her or something and having already been through what my mother put him through and come off the worse (judge decided she was right) it won't look good and we would not be able to pin anything on her. I am a kind person and do plenty for charity but all she wants to do is take, be disruptive and not even give back a bit of "being normal for a change".
I wanted something like a police/court order to make it official so that hopefully she understands that this is it
Sara3, sorry but yes you have missed a lot. There is nothing to do with someone with mental health issues here. My dad to be honest is a bit fed up with her but finds it hard to make the break. He himself knows that living together is out of the question.
My point is she has spent £7'000 which was not strictly necessary but has refused to pay the few pounds required to keep herself as though she has some right to live for free with my dad who is on disability allowance at the grand sum of £400 a month so cannot support 2
My point is she has spent £7'000 which was not strictly necessary but has refused to pay the few pounds required to keep herself as though she has some right to live for free with my dad who is on disability allowance at the grand sum of £400 a month so cannot support 2
and just to put this into perspective she sold her house and ended up with £40'000 so paying for some food is not that unreasonable. My dad is a single occupier so gets less council tax to pay but can't really declare she is there (although it has been a brief stay but long enough to get him into trouble) as he can't pay the extra as she refuses to support herself.
I assumed that "going a little insane" meant mental health issues.
so the issue is.. she's not paying her way? how long has she been there? if she's supposed to be going tomorrow.. does she have real plans?
I do think, as he gifted the house to you, it's a bit harsh to slate his choice of girlfriend.. however awful she may be.. sorry.
so the issue is.. she's not paying her way? how long has she been there? if she's supposed to be going tomorrow.. does she have real plans?
I do think, as he gifted the house to you, it's a bit harsh to slate his choice of girlfriend.. however awful she may be.. sorry.
Sara3, sorry yes of course you were referring to her mother, well to be honest she could have refrained from hitting her (even though she had a phone thrown at her). But no she it too stupid an inconsiderate to understand her mother has an as of yet undiagnosed problem and she should have just calmed it and contacted the social services and got her mother assessed
well Sara how would you feel if you went round to your dads after not seeing him for a few days to have a chat and his girlfriend basically made it so awkward and kept trying to break the conversation up to the point you get so upset and leave and end up at your brothers hardly able to stand and breath. This had been building up over time, the last time she went round she was being bossed about like the girlfriend owned the place. I have not even bothered going round
she is basically trying to cut him off from us. The house phone (which is actually my property as I bought it at the time when i lived there) was found full of water yesterday morning - oh let me guess cutting off the one way he can talk to me for free (landline to landline)
she is basically trying to cut him off from us. The house phone (which is actually my property as I bought it at the time when i lived there) was found full of water yesterday morning - oh let me guess cutting off the one way he can talk to me for free (landline to landline)
my dad is not pleased with the situation either, he just does not have the heart to throw her out. well sorry but enough is enough. Like i said if she at least acted normal it would be ok.
Oh yes tell you another. My sister suggested we all have sunday lunch at her house. No the girlfriend did not want to so the whole thing fell apart. My sister went round there later and yes they were having a sunday lunch anyhow that my dad had to cook her ands she was complaining about, the phrase "taking the Fosters big time" comes to mind, I don't know what her game is but we have had enough and my dad is stressed out too but too good to tell her to shove it.
Oh yes tell you another. My sister suggested we all have sunday lunch at her house. No the girlfriend did not want to so the whole thing fell apart. My sister went round there later and yes they were having a sunday lunch anyhow that my dad had to cook her ands she was complaining about, the phrase "taking the Fosters big time" comes to mind, I don't know what her game is but we have had enough and my dad is stressed out too but too good to tell her to shove it.
I'm not surprised he's stressed, in the middle of all these women who want to tell him how to live his life.
legally.. no idea. it's only your house because he gave it to you.
morally? I'd say, unless he's in some kind of danger, you have to leave them be. invite him to your house without her, but just keep out of her way until hopefully she moves on, or your dad decides to stand up to her.
I know you won't like that, you sound like you're seething angry which won't help the situation at all in my opinion.
legally.. no idea. it's only your house because he gave it to you.
morally? I'd say, unless he's in some kind of danger, you have to leave them be. invite him to your house without her, but just keep out of her way until hopefully she moves on, or your dad decides to stand up to her.
I know you won't like that, you sound like you're seething angry which won't help the situation at all in my opinion.
God you sound very bitter and angry. Bottom end is it's your father's house.It may legally be yours since your family seem to have no qualms in getting up to any jiggery pokery to thwart the law when your parents got divorced, but this is your dad's girlfriend because he chose her and you ought to morally consider it your parent's house not yours. If he has a problem then he has to deal with it not you.Go round if you want to, talk to him, chat to him but don't try to dictate who comes to someone's home, that's just control freaky and weird. If she spends money on a hearing aid that's her business, and I wouldn't expect a house guest ( since that's all you say she is) to 'pay her way'- that's absurd and wrong. The judge would laugh you out of court regarding a restraining order, so give up trying to have your own way, respect the fact your father can choose to have who he likes in his own home and make an effort to maintain a good relationship with BOTH of them since I suspect she's here to stay.
A Basic Human Right: "Every adult has the right to make their own decisions and it must be assumed that they are able to do so unless it is proved otherwise
People must be given all appropriate help before a conclusion is made that they cannot make their own decisions
Freedom to make "unwise" decisions - individuals must retain the right to make what might be seen as unconventional or unwise decisions unless they are unable to reach a decision or it is proved that they are not capable of making their own decision."
Taken from:: http://www3.hants.gov...ity/mental-health.htm
You really need to back off!!
People must be given all appropriate help before a conclusion is made that they cannot make their own decisions
Freedom to make "unwise" decisions - individuals must retain the right to make what might be seen as unconventional or unwise decisions unless they are unable to reach a decision or it is proved that they are not capable of making their own decision."
Taken from:: http://www3.hants.gov...ity/mental-health.htm
You really need to back off!!
ok looks like I'm obviously not going to get any help on the original question, you people would rather judge my motives. Naturally you can't understand the entire situation and i can't give you 5 years history in a few lines. Bitter ? Angry ? YES but I'm still objective.
To think I stayed in a foreign country (we moved out there when i was 10) 2 years more than i wanted to to look after my dads mother so that he could stay with this woman. Only to find she just wants to split up what little i have left of a family ! Oh well looks like my day is better spent going off with my friends to fund raise for charity !
No Nox we did not get up to any jiggery pockery, if you must know it was my father's hard work and help from his family that bought the house and he kept his marriage together to protect his children as there was trouble from the day my sister was born but of course any one around here can know more than I ever would about my own situation and judge me ! I'll remember next time not to bother asking advice and just take my own !
To think I stayed in a foreign country (we moved out there when i was 10) 2 years more than i wanted to to look after my dads mother so that he could stay with this woman. Only to find she just wants to split up what little i have left of a family ! Oh well looks like my day is better spent going off with my friends to fund raise for charity !
No Nox we did not get up to any jiggery pockery, if you must know it was my father's hard work and help from his family that bought the house and he kept his marriage together to protect his children as there was trouble from the day my sister was born but of course any one around here can know more than I ever would about my own situation and judge me ! I'll remember next time not to bother asking advice and just take my own !
I can't see how the fact that you stayed two years in a foreign country looking after your grandmother has any relationship to what your father now decided to do with his life.
As you have said yourself, if your father doesn't like the set-up with this woman he needs to get some backbone and lay down some house rules. The way this post reads, it is all about youand your sister not being able to see your dad on your own - to put the other side of the coin, could it just be possible that your dad has actually said to the woman that his daughters seem to want to run his life and could she have a word with them?
You are right, none of us know your circumstances other than what you choose to tell us, but don't *** us off for giving advice based on your side of the story.
As you have said yourself, if your father doesn't like the set-up with this woman he needs to get some backbone and lay down some house rules. The way this post reads, it is all about youand your sister not being able to see your dad on your own - to put the other side of the coin, could it just be possible that your dad has actually said to the woman that his daughters seem to want to run his life and could she have a word with them?
You are right, none of us know your circumstances other than what you choose to tell us, but don't *** us off for giving advice based on your side of the story.
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