Technology1 min ago
Dilemma
I still want to go "home" because I've never liked living here, I have no friends here, so no one to go out and socialize with. We have two daughters who are both married and settled here, but they don't want me hanging around all the time. The people I work with are mostly a lot younger than me, so not up for socializing with an oldie like me. I've never found it easy to make friends, and it gets harder as one gets older. (I've tried the evening classes tack, but found that people come with their friends, no one seemed to be there to make new ones).
Back "home" I have a sister who is a widow, various cousins and a couple of lifelong friends.
I have been trying to sell my house for the past 8 months and now it looks like the end may be in sight, everyone is telling me that I should stay here to be near my daughters and grandchildren. I have spent my whole life living where others decided I should and for the first time I have a choice.
Eight months ago I was raring to go and if my house had sold quickly I would have been up and gone like a shot, but I've had too much time to think and now I don't know what to do.
Answers
No best answer has yet been selected by Oleanda. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.You are clearly not happy where you are, and it seems you are starting to bend to the pressure of others. Selling a house is draining to say the least and you deserve a fresh new start. It may not be all roses when you get back, generally it can feel a bit of an anti-climax. Remember, for them it will just be life as usual.
But stick to your guns if you feel that is what you want to do, don't look at it as running away from problems, maybe set a date for the future where you can visit your daughters, or they can visit you, then concentrate and get on with your own life. Start afresh. Good luck.
You shouldn't, however, try to reconstruct a life based solely around old friendships. Keep on trying to find new friends through activities such as evening classes. (They're not all the same. Just look for something which you know you'd enjoy even if you were the only student in the class - then you'll have something to look forward to every week irrespective of any new friendships you might make. Friendships tend to come along when you're not obviously looking for them! Just a thought: I studied journalism through evening classes - you've obviously got a reasonable command of the English language so why not give something similar a try?).
Summing up: Don't let a few 'butterflies' stop you from going through with your plans but don't expect your social life to miraculously pick-up when you return 'home'. You'll still have to put in some effort yourself.
Hang on a moment! Who am I to be giving people advice about their social life? I'm sat at home, on my own, answering questions on AB - maybe I'm the one who needs help! LOL!
Best of luck, anyway!
Chris
You know what? This is time for YOU - to do what you want, with no strings attached, for the first time! Could it be that when it comes to the crunch the strings that have tied you to other people are also a bit comforting? Of course it will be frightening to do what YOU want, when it's not something you've done for a long time, but don't put obstacles in your way.
If you've managed to put up with travelling around for reasons you didn't choose, I'm sure travelling to visit your daughters and their families will be a cinch.
See yourself for who you are - a well travelled lady with a wealth of experience and maturity. Go with your gut feeling, and if you don't like it when you get there, what's stopping you coming back? Live for today!