Any advice gratefully received! Council issues

[Schlomo78]

Hi all, not been on for a while and not really sure where to post this...
basically I split with my ex and was put in private sector council housing (which is where they rent it privately, then rent it to you). I was so desperate and grateful that I nearly took their fingers off when they offered it, little realising that next door is student accommodation and their front door is actually their back door as the front room is used as a bedroom. the issue being is that they have to unlock a noisy metal gate (which reverberates up the wall no matter how quietly you try and do it), then lock it, walk down the alley next to my house, go through my back gate, then their back gate, then unlock their door and get in. The gates are all outside my bedroom window, and as soon as the metal gate clangs it wakes me up, then I hear them and their friends trooping through all the other gates and lo and behold, I'm wide awake! There's 3 guys moved in there the last few weeks, and they are in and out, in and out at all hours, as obviously that is their way into the house. They're not making an enormous amount of noise, but being woken at 12, 1.30, 2.30, 3 a.m is no joke! Then sometimes they stand outside their back door smoking(not allowed to in the house) and chatting. I've had enough. Last night I got 4 hrs sleep, and i'm running on caffeine. With an active 3 yr old to look after, Mum has become no fun at all :( I've been down the council and they've basically said tough, tell next door to keep it down, but I can't exactly say 'Oh, can you not come in or go out later than 11pm please') I might add that obviously I live on my own, and suffer quite badly from anxiety and depression. I'm a wreck at the moment, and the last thing I want to do is have to up my meds just when I was getting on top of everything, they make me feel like a zombie when I have a higher dosage. I'm off to the Dr's later to see if they can help, but am not holding out any hope. Am I just unreasonable?!

[Schlomo78]

I might add I have said I am willing to give up a 2 bed house for a flat, no problems, and there are also issues with mould in my son's bedroom (which is under the wallpaper and so nigh on impossible to get rid of) and also the kitchen is so cold in winter that I had 3 mugs break when pouring water from the kettle in the mornings and a couple of glasses. You have to wear a coat to go in there, and can't leave the door open to heat it as it sucks all the heat out of the house! It's hard enough to finance the heating anyway!
Just wanted some advice/opinions as I am really getting down about it all and there seems to be no way out. I don't mean to moan or sound ungrateful as I know I'm lucky to have a roof over my head!

[ummmm]

I don't know how the council work but can't you put the house up for a house swap?

[Schlomo78]

Apparently not, as it's the Council's Private Sector leasing :(

[ummmm]

Things might be easier if you got some sleep. Have you thought about maybe switching bedrooms?

Kids tend to sleep a lot heavier than us. Or maybe some nytols...quite weak sleeping pills that you can still wake up from if little one wakes up..

[Schlomo78]

I did actually think about the Nytols, but I've had so little sleep lately I'm worried they'd knock me out completely! Also the changing bedrooms is a good idea, but the problem is that the bathroom adjoins my bedroom and there's no way I could trust him in there, even with everything out of the way as he'd be flooding the bath and blocking the toilet, climbing shelves and whatever else he could get his little paws on. He's a real mischief maker. Otherwise I'd do it in a shot. Thanks though, Ummmm, for taking the time :)

[maggieb66]

Have you tried the Environmental Health department of the council, they can help you with the noise and advice on the mold and heating, if it's the council's problem they'll deal with it for you.

[tastymorsel]

Could you ask the council to at least replace the gate with a wooden one perhaps?

[pastafreak]

Maybe a bolt and chain type lock for outside the bathroom door might help.

[ummmm]

Got any friends/parents that might have him for the night? Just so you can catch up on sleep..

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture...

[Schlomo78]

Maggieb66 - I spoke to someone in February about the mould and damp and they said it's normal for a victorian terrace, it's under the wallpaper which is the major problem because however much I bleach/antifungal spray it, it's still breeding under there and I can't get to the root of it :( It sucks that they don't think it's a problem.
Tastymorsel - that's a good idea, but the other two garden gates are wooden and they make a lot of noise in the middle of the night, they're literally 10ft from my bedroom window (which isn't double glazed) so I'm not sure that would solve much in the end.
Pastafreak - that's actually a very good idea and if I can';t get anything resolved I might have to do it and see how it works, providing he doesn't wake up everytime I need a pee(!) :-S He could be up all night then!
And finally - Ummmm - you're right! I might take him over to my Mum's tomorrow and try and get a couple of hrs kip. I feel like I've been hit like a bus! I'll go to bed at 7pm tonight when he goes down, but I'll be woken by them going out about 10ish I imagine.
Off to see the Dr now and see what she can suggest. Here's hoping.
Thanks people, you're all fantastic!! :)

[Schlomo78]

Apologies for lack of paragraph breaks!!

[BeaverDiva]

Do you work? perhaps try to catch up on sleep in the day time? i know you have the little one, but if you're not working then you won't need as much sleep anyway?

speak with the students, explain the problem and see if you can come up wtih some solution about the gate banging - either by putting some padding on it or something. don't blame them in any way, just say you wanted to speak with them about it in case they came home one day and wondered why you'd put something to stop the gate clanging. can the gate not be jammed open even? i don't see this is a big issue really - there's a noisy gate, so stop it making noise. i'm sure the students will happily oblige...

[tigwig]

Hi I can only echo what others are saying really. I would be brave and speak to your neighbours, in a very friendly way of course, and explain everything to them. Unless they are complete kn*bs they should make the effort to be quieter. Is a stairgate any good to block the bathroom or would he climb over it?
I don't think your being unreasonable at all, I live in an end town house and the metal gate is fastened to my bedroom wall so I can imagine what you hear. Hope you get it sorted soon.

[Eve]

Shelter tend to have some good advice and might be able to help...

http://england.shelte...rs_and_bad_conditions

I'd have a friendly word with the students, see if you can come up with something between you to help matters. Is there any way of softening the effect of the gates?

[meglet]

I use to live in a flat where the downstairs neighbour had an early start in the morning and every morning I was being woken by the sound of him slamming his front door at 5.00am. So I bought some wax earplugs. I recommend Quies - it says one use only but honestly you can use them at least 3 times - but you could get some foam ones which would work out cheaper.

I slept through every night and didn't hear a thing!

[boxtops]

If it's student accommodation, is it managed by a University or college, couldn't you have a word with them?

[Brinjal]

I would first speak to the students. Most people even young ones are not unreasonable.