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Thanks for the replies,
"Chuckfickens" someone told us today exactly what you said. and I understand that principal. but before this it was always possible to have the heating on set between 15 and 20 degrees. what is happening is if we set it at 20(the position where I hear the click) It is far too hot and when we lower it, it just goes off. I have lowered the dial on the boiler to the middle setting for the radiators which the manual states should be acceptable for this time of year. surely if the room is cold and we just want to warm it up, not roast, the radiators should heat up at 15 -20 degrees. sorry if this sounds stupid, but there's no other way to explain it.
"The Builder" - it is a vrt30 vaillant thermostat, apparently similar to a Honeywell. Thanks again.