The Uk Pm Said He Is Looking Forward To...
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For St.patrick's Day.
Paddy,” says Mary, “if you were stranded on a desert island who would you like most to be with you?”
"My uncle Mick"replies Paddy.
"What’s so special about him?" asks Mary.
"He’s got a boat”" says Paddy.
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.
He gave her a ring with a fake diamond.
The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband.
She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled.
"I gave you a sham rock."
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving.
Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer.
"What happened?" asked the farmer. Liam replied that his parachute failed to open.
"Well," said the farmer, "if you had asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday."
Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands.
The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading.
After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye
say there?"
The agent said, "Certainly ye have, why d'ye ask?"
Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale, 'tis too good to part with."
"My uncle Mick"replies Paddy.
"What’s so special about him?" asks Mary.
"He’s got a boat”" says Paddy.
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day.
He gave her a ring with a fake diamond.
The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband.
She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honour of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled.
"I gave you a sham rock."
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving.
Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer.
"What happened?" asked the farmer. Liam replied that his parachute failed to open.
"Well," said the farmer, "if you had asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday."
Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands.
The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading.
After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all ye
say there?"
The agent said, "Certainly ye have, why d'ye ask?"
Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale, 'tis too good to part with."
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