Vandals and trees

[Harry Nuttal]

Is there a simple way to keep yobs off our trees? We've ruled out anti-vandal paint; too messy, too open to litigation and may damage the trees. What's fruit tree grease? Is it a grease we could daub on? Any suggestions?

[Thunderbird+]

Whad I'd suggest Harry, is get the biggest cheapest bottle of squeezable brown sauce you can find, squirt it librally on the branches (when nobody is looking) it wont harm the tree but it will keep them from climbing and your secret will be safe with me. Good Luck Tbird+

[Harry Nuttal]

Brilliant, T-Bird! Who's the Daddy!

[Thunderbird+]

O K Ketchup with u later! :-)

[Harry Nuttal]

Mayo your troubles be little ones, T-Bird.

[naz_nomad]

Dog sh1te will do the trick ... some people don't mind Brown Sauce, but I don't know anyone that likes dog poop

[Lonnie]

In deference to Tbirds suggestion, which sounds like the better option, excellent idea, i've used fruit tree grease on the top of my fence, to stop youngsters climbing over, it worked, but that was some years ago, its still a good option.

[Thunderbird+]

Thanks Lonnie, I would'nt think Harry would Relish the idea of messing around with dog poop!

[Harry Nuttal]

On the contrary, Hot Poo "sauce" (geddit?) was the first thing I thought of. But unfortunately my little terrier just couldn't climb those big trees to have a cr*p. And what's this fruit tree grease? Is it sticky and gooey?

[Lonnie]

You can buy it in Garden centres, designed to keep things like ants, and other creatures from the trees, its black, or a deep brown, thick and sticky, but it does wash off.