step father rights

[stuck mum]

Hi i have recently married and as a step father my husband has no rights what so ever with my two sons aged 4 + 7. my ex husband disappeared 18months ago, no maintenance in 4 years, no contact, no address or where abouts. We cannot get a parental responsibility because he needs to sign but we don't know where he is, we have applied for adoption but social services very slow and not sure if we can do this with out his agreement but again we can't find him. We were told to look at a residency order as we all live together anyway. Anyone have any advice?
Thanks

[plowter]

You could proceed with adoption without the birth parent's permission, but you would have to apply to court and show there were exceptional circumstances (for example, no contact for years, danger to yourself or children).

For general info see the links for
Adoption Information Line or

British Association for Adoption & Fostering

[rinefitz]

Also I looked into adoption as I am in a similar situation, but do you realise that for your partner to adopt your children you too have to adopt them - thus given up all your blood ties (and that of your families ie: grandparents etc). I didn't like the sound of this and decided to leave it. But should you find a good solution please post back on here, Thanks

[lotdot]

Residence Orders were perceived as a more straightforward way of obtaining PR than going through the Adoption process. Your partner could with you obtain a RO in the absence of the children's birth father.

[rinefitz]

oopphs ignore my previous post - just found out that the adoption law has changed again and the advice I gave earlier is no longer valid! Sorry

[stuck mum]

thanks. we are in contact on going with social services but they have a backlog and at present we have been waiting 11 weeks to see some one face to face. we do know about the adoption rules changing as social services gave us a brief outline over the phone. i'm thinking of ringing a solicitor about the RO. thanks for all the advice. will keep you all up to date

[hayley1973]

how did u get on? in similar situation myself XX

[stuck mum]

It has been 18months since we originally contacted social services. 1st there was a back log, then our social worker left and we had to go backon the waiting list.
My husband has now had his CRB check and we are just waiting for a social worker, we have all the court adoption papers filled out ready and the head of social services who i have been in contact with since I complained about the length of time we have been waiting, said it should only be 3 months now.
It turns out that it is not aproblem that we cannot find my ex so all is going well I suppose