single trouble

[ekajati]

I'm 40 single female and very shy. I hate the idea of dating agencies or speed dating - too intimidating for me, too much pressure. Also all my friends either have or are moving out of London and/or busy with their own businesses etc. The result is, during the week I have plenty to do either seeing whoever is left or with evening classes, and at the weekend - ZILCH that gets me sociable with other people. I'm completely fed up with talking to myself at the weekend, especially Sunday! Also sadly Church is out as I'm Buddhist. This is crazy I'm in London!! Any ideas? I'm willing to consider anything legal that doesn't involve football, pubs, drinking loads, and is not frequented only by the over 60s. I'm kind of arty and my other new hobby is diving. I want to meet nice 40ish men in non-threatening sociable activities, to make friends who might become closer. Please help me with some ideas, someone!!!!! Thanks in advance

[el duerino]

its easy enough. local drama groups, a course at the local college, other buddhist people, etc just give everything you want a try. use your imagination - social activities that involve your interests.

[Yinzer]

Volunteering is a great way to get access to neat jobs and activities that otherwise you would never get hired for. You can also meet other people of the same interests. I used to volunteer at the art museum and got to host artists' receptions and brainstorm for new gallery exhibit ideas. Met lots of cool people. Check your locl "alternative" newspaper as they usually have listings of places that want volunteers. If not then perhaps a Google search like "london seeking volunteers" or something.

[keirah]

you said your a buddhist well why dont you go to the london buddhist centre i know the 1 in bethnal green E2 does yoga and stuff then you have a chance of meeting somone with similar intrests etc etc.

[ICEMANSAV]

You say your quite " arty" how about joining a local art class. This way you will meet people with similar age groups and interests. Also diving does have its clubs, see where a local dive site is and go there for a meet. See if some of your friends left in London will go with you, they can help introduce you if you feel to shy and make you more confident with groups of people. Most importantly be happy with yourself and that will make others happy to be with you. Good Luck and take care.

[undercovers]

join the dive club and go on the first dive holiday you can, most clubs organise a couple a year - then you will have a week or so to meet people in a safe enviroment and have the time for them to see the real you (rather than the shy you) - nice healthy, sociable, fun, under 60's holiday AND its not weird to go on your own (as you are a member of a group enjoying your sport)... good luck and STOP BEING SHY!

[Hgrove]

I was going to suggest volunteering too - have a look at the Guardian. However, it might lead to helping in a youth club or similar which will probably be worthwhile and interesting and allow you to meet lots if nice people but not necessarily nice 40ish men. You could also join some rambler association or similar - groups of people who go for long walks at the w/ends. Also if you are from another country, you could try and look for a social circle involving people from your country. Have you thought of joining Mensa? They have social events all the time including the w/ends. You will have to get over your shyness though to muster the courage to go along to their events. The following may not be your cup of tea at all, and nice 40ish men will be thin on the ground, but I'll write it in case it gives you inspiration: have you thought of finding out if your local authority has a scheme for respite care/mentoring: the idea is taking kids out for the day to give single parents a break. You MAY meet someone once you start going to parks, farms, playbarns, etc., but likely as not they'll all be married with kids, so this one is only viable if it attracts you in itself.

[buchanan]

If you like diving - try sailing too. I know the weather's on the fritz now, but weekends on the South coast learning to sail, meeting nice rugged blokes in a non-threaening team environment could be just the ticket. Good look!

[ekajati]

Just a quick thank you to all the fantastic replies I've been getting - I'm so grateful to ALL of you! I have emailed St Martins art college re volunteering and also the Tate - fingers crossed! Also going to a dive club - I was supposed to go tonight but might not as I have a cold (cant dive with a cold) - but if I don't I'm going to a writer's club in town! I'm still considering some of the other suggestions. If anyone has more ideas I'm still taking them all in with great interest and MUCH gratitude as this was a real cry from the heart! More ideas most welcome! Thanks again