Urgent advice needed - I'm at my wits end

[mrs_overall]

This is a lengthy one so please bear with me. A non teaching member of staff at the school my 14 year old daughter attends is making our lives a misery. My daughter is a high flyer with 100% attendance but she has started having panic attacks at school as this woman picks on her constantly. It started off as low level nit picking but has now escalated. Before half term my daughter had 3 panic attacks in one day due to this woman, and during the final attack she told my daughter that she was mentally unstable and needed treatment. During the half term holiday I received a phone call from CAMS (Child & Adolescent Mental health Service) AND from Social Services. This awful woman made the referrals. She told both the mental health team and social services that my daughter is suicidal and that a teacher actually grabbed her and saved her life as she was about to jump off a cliff. She also told them that (in her opinion) she thinks that I am the reason why my daughter is suicidal, stating I am an abusive parent. Fortunately the mental health team made contemporaneous notes of the conversation. Everything she has said is a pack of lies. My daughter flatly denies everything, and on the date she is alleged to have tried to jump off a cliff we were on a short break in Holland. This morning I went into school and asked to see my daughter's Pastoral file. There was no record of any such incident or of my daughter telling staff she was feeling suicidal or scared of me. There was a record of conversation form stating that I had phoned this woman and been abusive and threatening. I have never made any such phone call and at the time and date of the alleged phone call I was in hospital. When I saw the headmaster and told him this, his answer was that his staff don't make mistakes!
I now have a panic stricken child who has an appointment to see a mental health nurse and I'm awaiting a visit from Social Services.

[mrs_overall]

Further to the above - I do know the woman in question. We were at school together years ago and there was no love lost between us, but I haven't clapped eyes on her for at least 10 years. I am at a loss as to why she is doing this and I don't know what to do next.

[Sandy-Wroe]

I think you need to make another appointment with the headmaster and tell him that you are considering taking this story to a national newspaper. A pupil and her mother being harassed by a member of staff and nobody doing a thing about it would interest the press. That should get his full attention.
Both Cams and social services would have a record of who it was made the report. Yet you have evidence that your daughter wasn't even in the country when the alleged incident on the cliff took place.
When you do see someone from social services ask them what they are going to do to stop your family being the subject of this woman's vendetta.
Good luck

[mrs_overall]

Thanks for taking the trouble to reply. Both Social Services and CAMS have told me it was the woman in question who contacted them.
I should also mention that after my useless meetng with the Head, I rang the chairman of the school governors. He informed me that the woman is also on the board (as a staff governor) and that it is up to the Head to deal with my complaint and not them.

[ayabrea38]

First,should CAMS or SS of told you it was this woman who contacted them-I just mention this cos of whats going on in the news.BUT,firstly I would contact the education local authority and tell them whats gone on.The head and the board are both,in my opinion negligent in their jobs.
I take it you can prove that you where out of the country/in hospital?
Gather all relevant information and seek legal help,again I would start with the local authority,but the CAB can be a gem of information and help.
It seems very stupid of this woman to do this,she must have friends in high places if she thinks she can get away with it.
Very best of luck,your daughter sounds a credit to you with a good head on her shoulders.I wonder if jealousy could be a factor though.

[waterboatman]

All the advice above is good. If it were me, I would do that. seek legal advice soonest. This woman is breaking the law.

[DrFilth]

remember what the headmaster said
( headmaster and told him this, his answer was that his staff don't make mistakes!
)
if you can prove you were out of the country this proves she is lying, if it was me i would be at my solicitors ASAP

[zzxxee]

get some legal advise this is crystal clear a case for victimisation, would your daughter be happy at another school for the time being,
you also need to see your g.p tell him whats going on and see if he/she will write a letter to the school explaining the distress this has caused your family, tell the school unless she has clear evidence of such a claim she has to retract her statment you requiire her immediate resignatin or further action will be taken !!!!

[thugulike]

The correct way forward is to make a formal written complaint to the governing body. Only if they fail to take appropriate action can you make a complaint to the LA. This must be very distressing for you. I work with schools on HR issues so this is not unfamiliar to me. From now on everything should be in writing with copies kept.

[Androcles]

You can alos make a complaint about an individual Teacher to the General Teaching Council and if upheld they acn be struck off like a doctor. Here is the link to their complaints page:

http://www.gtce.org.uk/parents/

[thugulike]

Androcles it's not a teacher.

[themas]

There are (there have to be) parent Governors, as well as staff ones & others appointed independently. You should find out who the parent Governors are & talk to them about this - as well as doing all the other sensible things you have been advised of here.

I find the Chairman's reaction to you incomprehensible. He/she has a responsibility to the school as a whole - not just its staff but the pupils and parents. He is certainly out of order. No way is this something that can be left to just the Head - particularly if his attitude is as dismissive as you say.

[Eve]

I think a written approach definitely needs to be taken, a formal written approach to the headmaster and copied to immediate superior giving the appropriate evidence backing up your claims with timescales for reply or stating the matter will be taken further and going from there.

[auzzie]

When my daughter was being bullied at school i involved my local MP. Although she did not have much clout she certainly made them take stock!

[brenda]

mrs-o-----have only just read your post, what a nightmare position to be in. I feel for you and your family in this.Others have given you sound advice which I hope will help, all that I am able to add is that I will be thinking of you and your daughter and wishing you all the very best in whatever you do .Hope you are able to get the outcome that you want ,and that your daughter continues to do well at school and is once again settled and happy.Brenda.

[thugulike]

Ask for a copy of the school complaints policy. You MUST make a formal written complaint to the Chair of Governors. Beware of taking advice from well meaning people on AB. There is a formal route and you should take it.

[Nosha123]

My God Mrs O.. This is awful... I am so sorry you are being subjected to this evil bullying behaviour! I would be seeking legal advice immediately... no idea what section of law this would come under - but this behaviour is serious and worrying. She needs to be struck off!!! Can you call the police and discuss the matter with them? The ramifications of her fabricating stories like this is very serious and needs to be addressed.
You can tell the Head you are seeking legal advice and threaten prosecution... Barmaid may be around at some time to offer legal advice!

[Nosha123]

And as for your poor daughter.. tell her to keep calm... when she sees the mental health nurse she can provide the necessary evidence to prove the woman is lying and that its the WOMAN making her distressed..
Tell her to keep calm and relax about this all!

this is just so disgusting you are being subjected to this..
Please do let us know how you get on!!! Good luck!!!