My Boss
My boss asked what I made of January’s sales reports. Apparently answering ‘paper aeroplanes’ is a good way to get fired.
The flash bloke next door is building a conservatory, he has made the mistake of leaving the blue prints out. I am going to cover them in aluminium. That will foil his plan.
I flipped a coin and it managed to land perfectly on the edge, I could not make heads or tails of it.
I once had a job searching for gold, but it didn’t pan out.
I tried to get out of the deal I had made with a book restoration company, because I had found a cheaper alternative. Unfortunately, they had a binding contract.
People always look at me weirdly when I start talking to the fruit in supermarkets. I just like keeping up to date on currant affairs.
Intelligence agencies have learnt of a possible attack on the tiddlywinks world championships. Counter terrorist police have been put on standby.
I went into the ‘Psychics’ tent at the fair. After an hour long lecture on thermodynamics, I wished I had read the sign more carefully.
I have invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible. I will call it Popeyedol.
One of the perks in my job as a hairdresser is I get to take home bits of customer’s hair. It is a job with fringe benefits.