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marval | 18:09 Sat 24th Mar 2018 | Jokes
7 Answers
I went Salsa dancing last night. Anyone know how to get tomato stains out of a suit?

It was lucky that I went to see a fortune teller today. She warned me that somebody was going to swindle me. I was more than happy to pay for that kind of information.

I have just spent five grand on Hi-Fi equipment, I think I’m a stereo type

I went to the museum today, as I walked through the doors and headed straight for the main room, a voice said: “Excuse me sir, admission please.” “Fine” I said, “I wear women’s underwear and eat cat food.”

My Agatha Christie ‘murder mystery’ duvet cover finally arrived in the post. Can’t wait to open the package and see how it all unfolds

I wasn’t going to purchase an animal for the annual male goose race but I went down to the farm anyway, I thought I would go for a quick gander.

I have been informed of some key information. They are useful for opening locks

I went to a bed shop and said, “I would like to buy a mattress.” The assistant said, “A spring mattress?” I said, “Well I was hoping for one I could use all year round.”

I went to buy a walking stick earlier today but the only ones they had in stock were barely two feet long. I asked the salesman about it and he said they were short staffed.

I get cheap cigarettes from the Asian man that lives at the end of my street. His nickname is Bacci Stan.
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Bacci Stan! Lol!
Great ones Marval!..
Question Author
Thank you Patsy
Lol all very good Marvel. I liked no.2 particularly... many moons ago my uncle accidentally bumped into a fortune teller on Blackpool front spilling her coffe over her. He simply quipped 'If you were any good you'd have seen that coming.' Still makes me chortle to this day
Question Author
I like that Arksided
You weren't there per chance were you, holding a cup of coffe ;-)
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No, it wasn't me.
I'd deny everything as well Xx ;-)

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