Cause For Concern Or Perfectly Normal?

[sherrardk]

Boy #1 is in his first year of studying paramedic science and it is very full on and they have really been thrown into it. He is enjoying the course and uni life and has a wide circle of friends, is managing his money well and enjoys a variety of social activities. However, whilst messaging him last night (something which he initiated), it came to light that he seems to be having a wobble with his confidence. Is this just one of those things or should I be concerned (I am concerned but I am a natural worrier, the boy is not a natural worrier)?

[Nical]

I think it's just a natural, normal thing- my usually hyper-confident daughter was much the same. The wobble lasted a week or two, something distracted her, got her interested... and she was fine again.

[Samuraisan]

Maybe have a face to face ? Or at least talk properly on the phone. Text messages can sometimes misunderstood.

[ummmm]

I would say it's perfectly normal especially in his chosen path.

[Zacs-Master]

How was his lack of confidence expressed; via a concern about not coping with the course, or something else?

[sherrardk]

He’s concerned that he doesn’t look old enough to be a student paramedic, I think a lady (with bi-polar if that’s relevant) spooked him by accusing him of being 14 and buying his uniform in a petrol station. He’s got a long ambulance placement coming up and whilst he’s confident in his skills set I think it’s about his ability to look and sound authoritative when dealing with patients (he is v good with people - not something he’s picked up from me).

[david small]

Perfectly understandable it’s a trying time for him. His confidence will increase when he has a few success's under his belt.

[Mamyalynne]

His confidence is sure to take a few knocks along the way, keep a watchful eye/ear and always be there to chat.

[sherrardk]

He knows I’m always around to chat (hence our 1.30 chat last night/this morning). Maybe it’s because he’s never displayed a lack of confidence before (but he’s not cocky either) or could be me over worrying about him.

[Mamyalynne]

He will have to get used to thoughtless comments and at times even worse, he'll cope I'm sure - early days yet.

[bednobs]

i think you are probably over-worrying you and me both know that 95% of the public are mad, but he has yet to discover this :) One good day on his placement will erase the doubts he has

[sherrardk]

I expect you’re right, he’s probably just not used negative comments or put downs.

[Zacs-Master]

Confidence will come with dealing with situations where his training kicks in. In most 'live' scenarios he won't have time to think about anything but the actions he needs to take.

[Ken4155]

No doubt his colleagues will help him through the rough patches. Wouldn't worry too much if I was you.

[Eve]

I think it's a very natural thing, especially with that kind of profession. If he chatted to his classmates then I'm sure that he'd find he is not the only one.

Even on placement, he could have a chat with his supervising paramedics about how they deal with things like that. They've been through it and know what it's like, might have some tips, he is there to learn about the profession, not just the practical side medically. I'm sure they all have their own stories to tell, they were all younger and students at one point.

He's good with people and with his training and experience he will build up confidence. A good tip someone gave me once was that even if you don't feel it, try acting it (as in actor kind of act it). Sometimes just pushing that boundary a little in that way feels a bit less of a leap and less threatening, but then it can help you realise it's not that difficult doing it, if that makes sense?

The more he goes out, the more different situations he is in, the less impact a memory like that will probably have. He will be dealing with people in extreme circumstances a lot of the time, a lot of whom won't be at their best, I'm trying to think of a better phrase but I'm too tired, which is no reflection on him.

In a way I think comments like that are more about the other person. When you're older and people in certain professions start to look really young, with me it's more about me feeling older than anything to do with them :)

[Canary42]

Worried about looking too young. He should be so lucky. Tell him everyone over 40 thinks today's policemen, doctors, etc look too young.

Seriously, it sounds like the placement coming up is the cause, and this is pefectly natural with any new role - "fear of the unknown".

As long as the anxiety doesn't become debilitating then it's good experience for him - just make sure he seeks help/support if it does become overbearing, otherwise "that's life" as they say.

Good luck (you and him).

[sherrardk]

Thanks all - he seems in better spirits today, almost like he wasn’t worried yesterday but things always seem bleakest at night. I suspect it’s going to be a big learning curve for both of us, he’s going to have negative experiences and I just have to be there to listen - I can’t sort everything out for him (not that he expects or wants me to).

[nailit]

Sherr,
A few weeks ago, I had cause to ring 999 to an unconscious woman outside my block of flats.
The ambulance turned up and a couple popped out. Didnt think that *HE* looked above 16 (the other was a female paramedic...I presume) but he was the most professional medic that Id ever seen. Knew his stuff and what he was doing etc.
I would have put my life in his hands anyday!
We all have our 'wobbles' but could just see this guy going somewhere in his chosen career.

[jourdain2]

When you are tackling anything new, 'wobbles' in confidence are bound to happen. It's part of building experience and confidence.
Junior sprog (40) is undertaking what I think is an over-demanding 'Now Teach' type course (she has 2 kids to cope with as well) and last night she was in floods of tears on the phone ad ready to give up. A class of Yr. 8s had 'gone' despite her careful prep. I gave some 'hard-bitten, been there, it's normal ad happens sometimes' advice ad the same class has bee OK today and she is rebuilding her confidence.

It's part of the learning process, sherrardk. Worrying at the time, though.