A Third Gap Year!!!???

[daisyme]

I am a chronic worrier and need to voice things somewhere. I took a gap year last year and applied for university, I got into a prestigious university and started there this year. It brought up my issues with grief over the loss of some very important people in my life and my issues with my mum over the divorce of my parents 8-9 years ago.

I am currently on my second gap year after dropping out of the uni as I was unable to cope and was getting steadily more depressed. I am currently waiting for my counselling to begin so I can get my head and emotions straight and sort that out as I don't want it affecting me in the future so its best to nip it in the bud now. My problem is that the UCAS deadline is mid January and my counselling will probably start properly in December. I am concerned that because my brain is in such a state over things I will make the same mistake as last time as it was the course as well as depression that were the problems and I don't want to make the same mistake again because I don't think just a month of counselling will make me be in the right place to make such a decision. So I am thinking of perhaps as a plan B if things do go pear shaped taking a third gap year!!?? What do people think? I would take a couple more a-levels perhaps or a GCSE to keep my academic mind ticking over in the meantime as 3 years out of education is long and I don't want my mind to pack up...and I would try and get a part-time job and continue with my volunteering that I do at the moment. I was wondering what people's thoughts are on this? I feel quite stuck over it and its looping round in my head and just need an outlet so here I am!!

Sorry this is quite long but any advice from people would be great. I really don't want to let myself down as I do have potential, I just don't want to make the same mistakes as last year and end up in a pickle again...if anything I just don't have the money to keep messing up all the time!

Thank you guys for any comments :-)

[EvianBaby]

Do whatever is going to make you happiest. There is no point in going back to uni if all it's going to achieve it upping your stress levels. Who needs that?

[bednobs]

hi, instead of constantly taking gap years, why don't you stop thinking about university altogether? there is no imperative that you must go to uni. How will you afford a levels if you are not even working? Concentrate on your health and reintegrating into society for a while. There is nothing stopping you going to uni in your 30's or 40's

[daisyme]

I just feel like I owe it to myself to do it. Its just difficult when all your friends and family have degrees/ are doing them and I just feel left behind really!!I have considered just doing a degree as a mature student but I don't know how good my job prospects would be until I actually ever graduated which is another of my worries! Thankyou for your suggestions however :-)

[Twenty20]

I don't think simply wanting to go to university because your friends are going is really the best idea.

Do you have a career path in mind that the university degree will help with? What degree were you going to be doing?

[daisyme]

no twenty there isn't a specific career that I am interested in going into really. I was going to be doing theology...big mistake! I thought I would enjoy it but it really wasn't right, the fact it isn't vocational also didn't help! I didn't think that one through very well really!

[B00]

Don't most people go to university with a job goal in mind? What I mean is, most have a career they want to pursue so take the further education to (hopefully) achieve that goal!

Have to admit I skimmed most of your post, so I could've missed it, but what exactly do you want to do job wise? You seem to be just foing further education because you dunno what else to do?

[redcrx]

just because everyone else has done it doesnt mean you have to force yourself to. What work are you doing whilst on these gap years? is it anything that you can build on to get further qualifications?

[daisyme]

Quite a few people I know don't have a clue what they want to do, most people seem to just do a degree because its better than not having one really! I am looking for just an xmas shop job at the moment but I am waiting until I know the times and things of my counselling before I properly apply for things as sorting my well-being out is my priority at the moment...I really don't know what to do, I'm one of those people who has an interest in just about anything so it makes things very difficult!! I have a huge passion for animals and would love to work with them but I don't know how to go about that really...I'm also quite creative and enjoy writing, drawing, reading, making things etc. I think the problem is that I have always done very academic things so I have never really had chance to explore these other things if you know what I mean!!

[B00]

No, not really, lol.

I do a job because I have to.

Good luck with your counseling, I however happen to think you need a good dose of reality instead of drifting through life at the moment which you appear to be doing- lucky you for being able to do that I guess <shrug>

Think I should leave your thread alone, as your post annoyed me, I really don't want to upset you any further and my opinions aren't helpful to you.

I do genuinely wish you well though.

[joko]

i would wait a few years regardless...clearly you are not ready and dont really know what you want

i went on a few degrees/hnds etc...and left them - 2 because they were the wrong course for me and waste of time and 1 because i too became depressed (medical rather than mental)

i went back to college years later and found i was unable to get any assistance with funding because even though i had not finsihed the courses i had used up all my entitlements...so i had to struggle to put myself through it

and although it helped me focus my aims - i found that because i had already been on other courses and learned a lot, the course didnt actually teach me much...i was older than the others and was ahead of them... many of the modules were things id been dong already for years...

and also in the 10 years since, not one person has ever asked me about my time there, or the grades etc.

i would suggest doing a few shorter more intense courses in order to find out what it is you want...dont jump straight in to a degree you may never use...

[boxtops]

I really would park the idea of a university programme altogether at the moment if you are not up to it - studying full-time (especially at assignment time) is very pressured and you wouldn't be doing yourself any favours. There is no point in a degree for a a degree's sake - people are coming out of uni now with good degrees and still can't find jobs - unless you want to work in a particular area and your degree is in that subject, having a degree makes you no more employable, it only proves that you can study.

Many years ago I was one of only four people in my leaving year who didn't go on to University, I wanted to go to work, I couldn't see the point of further study - but it is never too late, you can do like I did - find the work you like, then study to further your career once you know what you are going to do.

I got my Masters degree when I was 50 - it was far more relevant to me at a mature age than it would have been when I was 21.

The other thing you have to consider is fees - if you go back now, will you have to pay the going rate for student fees? That's another big pressure.

Depending on your course, too, most unis only allow 5 or 6 years for a student to complete, so you won't be able to have any more breaks if you defer again.

I really would advocate that you wait until you feel well and able to cope with the huge challenge of a degree programme - don't force yourself to do it now. It's a far more positive thing to do, that to keep putting it off because you're not strong enough to take it on - and people can understand that.

[redcrx]

"Quite a few people I know don't have a clue what they want to do, most people seem to just do a degree because its better than not having one really" are you sure they arent just putting off the inevitable, like getting a job?

I can see where B00 is coming from here. Why go to Uni unless there is a real reason for doing so, ie having to get the qualifications that you NEED to get the job you want. The time for taking degrees in subjects just for something to do is when you have a job and can find the funds or at very least the time to fit it in around work and life.

Yes, you obviously need to see a counsellor but dont put life on hold whilst waiting for the appointment.

[joko]

also there are no rules to education...if you need 3-4-5 years off, then take them...

remember - you go to uni etc for YOU, no-one else - not the college, not the governement, not the tutors, not the other students, not your family etc but YOU - use it for what you need it for.

[boxtops]

Joko, that's not correct - once you've started a degree programme (which daisy has) you only get a fixed number of years to finish it. There are plenty of rules in education!

I would very much argue that a student only goes to Uni for their own benefit - it's for the benefit of a future career, which hopefully means they can give something back to the community eventually. Als don't forget that the taxpayer is funding the study (at present) and that daisy will probably have to pay her considerable student fees in future. It's not a free gift to be able to go to uni just because you feel like it - I agree with the others, for some people it's just a way of carrying on studying because there are no jobs about.

[bednobs]

i have to agree. Most people get a job because they have to, and don't have the luxury of 3 "gap" years. It's right that you should concentrate on your health for the time being, and i think you are right that counselling will be no magic cure. Perhaps working will give you some self esteem and help with your issues?
2 of my friends graduated uni 2 years ago - one is working in new look and one is working in customer service for british gas. My brother in law was in school, a levels, degree, masters and has now just completed his phd in media and film - in his late 20's and a doctor but he works in a call centre. uni can be a waste of time and money if you don't know what you want to do. I don't think not going to uni at the moment is "letting yourself down" at all! Personally i would be peed off to have spent £20k on uni to end up working in a shop!

[cazzz1975]

I agree with red here, university is useful if you have a career goal, but if you are drifting through life with no idea what to do it can be a waste of time and money.

maybe its time to try out the real world and have a go at doing different jobs, it make give you a better insight into where you want to go in life.

[cazzz1975]

may not make..

[daisyme]

I'm very sorry BOO if I annoyed you...it really wasn't my intention! Thank you for taking the time to reply to my thread however.

I had a job for a year last year and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I worked full time in the school I just left and I found it rewarding and I loved earning my own money. Sorry I didn't put that in my original post. I think my confidence has just been knocked after the experience I had at uni after I finished up at my job. (the placement was just for the year).

[cazzz1975]

why not look at getting a job instead of uni?

[cathfromsaron]

its a massive stage and i can see how these underlying feelings would rise, and i sympathise !

request to defer (if that is what would solve your immediate needs) but do not leave completely! see how you feel after a rest and don't burn any bridges! x