A Third Gap Year!!!???

[daisyme]

I am a chronic worrier and need to voice things somewhere. I took a gap year last year and applied for university, I got into a prestigious university and started there this year. It brought up my issues with grief over the loss of some very important people in my life and my issues with my mum over the divorce of my parents 8-9 years ago.

I am currently on my second gap year after dropping out of the uni as I was unable to cope and was getting steadily more depressed. I am currently waiting for my counselling to begin so I can get my head and emotions straight and sort that out as I don't want it affecting me in the future so its best to nip it in the bud now. My problem is that the UCAS deadline is mid January and my counselling will probably start properly in December. I am concerned that because my brain is in such a state over things I will make the same mistake as last time as it was the course as well as depression that were the problems and I don't want to make the same mistake again because I don't think just a month of counselling will make me be in the right place to make such a decision. So I am thinking of perhaps as a plan B if things do go pear shaped taking a third gap year!!?? What do people think? I would take a couple more a-levels perhaps or a GCSE to keep my academic mind ticking over in the meantime as 3 years out of education is long and I don't want my mind to pack up...and I would try and get a part-time job and continue with my volunteering that I do at the moment. I was wondering what people's thoughts are on this? I feel quite stuck over it and its looping round in my head and just need an outlet so here I am!!

Sorry this is quite long but any advice from people would be great. I really don't want to let myself down as I do have potential, I just don't want to make the same mistakes as last year and end up in a pickle again...if anything I just don't have the money to keep messing up all the time!

Thank you guys for any comments :-)

[daisyme]

the problem is that after doing the job I really liked the idea of teaching, and for that you need a degree and then a PGCE and I haven't even passed the first hurdle! That was just an idea I had while I was there and I did get to do cover lessons and exam invigilations so I got some experience in it - theres so many ideas buzzing in my head really.

[atrollope]

I went to uni (20 years ago now) having no idea what I wanted to do as a career and studied history/classics because I love the subject. I was really surprised when I got there that very few people seemed to know what they wanted to do - even some of those doing the more vocational courses weren't sure. I don't necessarily agree that it has to be a means to an end - it is a time to explore interests and see what is out there - getting politicised at uni got me into the voluntary sector and then into working with ex offenders - still involved and still love the work. I am sure it is different now with more people getting degrees and more costs involved, but for me going in not knowing what I wanted at the end was almost the best thing for me.

[Bambiagain]

It seems to me that you're getting even more stressed about worrying over the uni thing than you were before. University doesn't suit everyone and it is possible to have a job - a career even - without a degree. Why not find a job and put off thinking about getting a degree. If you decide, in a year or two, or maybe even longer, that you really want to do a degree course, you'll have a lot more idea what you want to get out of it (along with maybe money saved to help you!) and will be doing it because that's what you want. I left school after A levels and went straight to work. I had for a long time at the back of my mind the thought that one day I would like to go to university. Being made redundant gave me the chance to do so, and I'm sure I got a lot more out of it than many of the 18 year olds who went there because it was expected of them and not because they were sure they wanted to.

[cazzz1975]

so you have a career path potentially, focus on it and in the meantime see your counsellor. I think the longer you leave it that harder it will be to go back, at some point you have to bite the bullet and make a decision, it wont be easy and it may take a while to get back into it, but you have to persevere xx

[daisyme]

that was my original plan really atrollope - to go to uni and do something I would enjoy and hopefully it would take me to something I would enjoy and in the meantime get work experience in it. Didn't quite work out that way though. The uni I just left said they would save me a place as they could see I just couldn't cope with it yet, and I was very relieved about that as it keeps that option open for next year. Thank you cazzz for your advice, it is going to be a difficult one!

[joko]

boxtops - you have misunderstood me...

i meant there is no rules in terms of life and education...she does not have to force herself to get a qualification she does not want or need at this stage, just because its expected or because other people are - and she does not have to do it at a certain age.. i did not mean governing body rules etc...
but even with those, there are mitigating circumstances that allow for people to change their educational route - i used them myself...i did not follow the 'usual' route, because it was not right for me at the time.. but it worked for me

i also meant that she should attend college with her own future, her own career in mind...not worrying what other students are doing, or what the tutors may try to force her to do or what the college may want...
you may want to look at it as though it is for the benefit of everyone - but i doubt many students look at it that way...i went to college for me...not so i could be of future benefit to other and the economy....

and that was my point about funding - if she continues on forcing herself when she is not ready she will waste the precious funding available to her... and when she is sure they will shrug and say its too late its been used/wasted...

she should speak to them, explain her circumstances and defer her course for a few years til shes ready to either continue or chaneg courses...

[daisyme]

sorry joko...who do you mean by them?

[joko]

someone at the college, who deals with that kind of thing, and also the people that have organised your student loans etc
your doctor will be able to verify your circumstances to them