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Another Collection
Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up.
Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch.
Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water."
Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?"
Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water."
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her.
In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.
"Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"
A friend and I were standing inside a building of a local theme park.
We were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.
The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10", 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough time trying to not be blown away.
My friend joked with the lady, telling her that she would have to put heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.
The lady looked at my friend and lisped, "You mean, now I weigh me
down to sweep?"
On the first day of Creation, God created the Cat.
On the Second day, God created man to serve the Cat.
On the Third Day, God created all the animals of the Earth to serve as
potential food and/or amusement for the Cat.
On the Fourth Day, God created honest toil so man could labour for the
good of the Cat.
On the Fifth Day, God created the Sparkle Ball so the Cat might or might
not play with it.
On the Sixth Day, God created veterinary science to keep the Cat healthy
and the man broke.
On the Seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to scoop out the litter
box.
Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch.
Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water."
Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?"
Doctor: "You're not drinking enough water."
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her.
In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble.
"Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll just have to be a little boulder!"
A friend and I were standing inside a building of a local theme park.
We were looking outside, and it was an extremely windy day.
The area's custodian, the one who had the job of sweeping up debris, was a very small woman (4'10", 90 lbs.) and she was having a rough time trying to not be blown away.
My friend joked with the lady, telling her that she would have to put heavy rocks in her shoes when she went outside to work.
The lady looked at my friend and lisped, "You mean, now I weigh me
down to sweep?"
On the first day of Creation, God created the Cat.
On the Second day, God created man to serve the Cat.
On the Third Day, God created all the animals of the Earth to serve as
potential food and/or amusement for the Cat.
On the Fourth Day, God created honest toil so man could labour for the
good of the Cat.
On the Fifth Day, God created the Sparkle Ball so the Cat might or might
not play with it.
On the Sixth Day, God created veterinary science to keep the Cat healthy
and the man broke.
On the Seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to scoop out the litter
box.
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