House Husband

[mats01_99]

Hi all. All being well I'll become a new father next May, now my wife will get 6months maternity leave, however after this the thought of handing the baby over to a creche or child-minder does not really appeal. My wife is the major breadwinner in our household so there's no way that she could give up work, however I've seriously started to think about looking after the baby full time myself. Are there any other 'house husbands' out there who could give me their thoughts on the matter?

[Le Chat]

Although I am female, I just needed to say that you will be doing a great thing for your child and family! Just to put you in the 'know', 9 yrs ago when I had my first son, I attended two different 'mother and toddler' groups, of which no man was ever seen!! 2 yrs ago I had my second son and I'm pleased to tell you that there are quite a few men with their children in attendance! So it is obviously becoming more 'normal' ....and why not? You won't regret doing it ...you can always return to work eventually but not to your children being small!!

[jake-the-peg]

I was made redundant shortly after my daughter was born - my son was about 18 months old.

As my wife was working at the time I did this for about 4 months.

It is very very hard work, I think doing it for much longer would have driven me quite mad. Mostly due to the demands of there being 2 of them.

But there were great times too and I was made very welcome at the local creche.

I'd suggest you go for it - unless anybody utters the dread word "twins"

[ann_h]

I think you should do it, if you still feel you want to once the 6 months is up. Our youngest has been mainly cared for by Dad, and he does a great job. Plus, the return on your investment is HUGE!!!

But it's true that the domestic life doesn't suit everyone, male or female, so I think it's better to have part-time care if you find it stressful, than struggle for the sake of "doing the right thing"

On the financial side, take a good look at ALL the expenses. Add to the nursery fees the extra travel, loss of time (means more convenience food etc) and you'll often find you're no worse off cash-wise without the second income.

[Coobeastie]

Haven't got kids yet but my partner will carry on working as she too is the main earner. I'm really looking forward to it and its amazing how many people are now receptive to the idea when i mention it.

Go for it....

[carla81]

i'm a woman but still good for you !

[Dreaming]

Good on you Mat, I too am a woman, but think that more men should be house husbands, as a lot of men tend to think all women do all day is sit around and watch day time tv. Its hard work being at home all day with a baby. Can be lonely, fustrating, and tiring. But on the positive, its very good for your child, and its rewarding when you see the small steps they take. Sorry if this came through twice, think I hit wrong button. I wish you luck!

[neill]

I`m a father of 3 beautiful daughters aged 9,8 & 4.My partner has been a full time mother to them all.If she had been the major earner then i would`ve had absolutely no problem in becoming a full time father/house husband-call it what you will.It went without saying that one of us would become the "full" time parent,we never even considered hiring a nanny or a carer etc etc....

Your child(ren) can have no better person looking after them,than you,their parents.

Don`t read too many books on parenting,don`t listen to too much advice & don`t worry too much.Believe it or not,your instincts will see you through & because you are the childs father...you WILL do a far better job than any carer.Don`t fret,be sensible,caring,EXTREMELY patient & VERY loving...this childs future is TOTALLY in your hands...now that IS pressure,but you`ll be fine mate.

[Otrere]

Since having our daughter (who is now 3), I work part-time three evenings a week and one day at weekends. My husband works full time.

I have to be honest and say that, if it were the other way round, and knowing what I know now, I would be severely jealous of my husband getting to spend all that precious time with our daughter.

I say good on you, make the most of it, childhood these days is so short-lived and precious that I truly believe at least one parent should be there to witness and enjoy it all, particularly in the earlier years, it definitely helps bonding and makes you appreciate what life is really all about.

Good luck.

[gary baldy]

My wife has significantly more earning power than me so it was a no brainer for us.
We have a bright, intelligent,well behaved beautiful daughter that i am very proud of.
Unless you really have no option one parent really must stay at home- and it really doesnt matter who does it - whoever is best suited. You may be financially worse off but the benefits otherwise are unquantifiable.
For a man it can be quite lonely sometimes as it is difficult to relate to other mothers and you get sick of talking about babies all the time!
Do it - you will not regret it! I'm looking forward to number 2 in March.

[blanx]

Hi. I have a couple of friends where he was the househusband for the first 4 years after the second child was born (babies were 1 year apart). Like any housewife he sometimes found it hard work, or tedious etc etc but on the whole really loved it and was a complete natural. The interesting thing for us to watch was, for example, when one of the children fell over, they called for/ran to Daddy as the as the primary carer rather than Mummy. This balanced out a few years later when the Mother took over the child care. I would say that now the child care seems to be a really good balance as he is more inclined to be hands on with everything than he might have been if he had not been a househusband.

[iluvcatz]

You go for it! Children always benefit by having a parent at home. But, a guy who started where my husband works had been a househusband for 5/6 years. He had been looking for a job for ages and found employers reluctant to take him on after being away from the workplace for so long. Good Luck!!

[Hgrove]

I am a woman but I know of about three men in my area who are the full time carers. Have you thought about joining the National Childbirth Trust; our branch newsletter has a dads' page. You may be abe to get in touch with other dads through membership. In case you wish to look into it: www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com