Crosswords1 min ago
And There's More
Summer school holidays were over and young Jack returned to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," mother said. "I had Jack with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
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I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it.
Strange, as she always likes to dig up things from the past.
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It has been estimated that over 70% of women have used vibrators,
The other 30% buy new ones.
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Mick and paddy start a removal business, paddy is struggling up the road with a wardrobe on his back a friend asks "Where’s mick I thought he was helping you?" Paddy replies "He is he’s in the wardrobe holding the clothes up!"
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Paddy just landed a new job fitting mirrors on bedroom wardrobes and bathrooms. On reflection It's just something he could see himself doing!
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My mate asked me 'How much does your wife spend on a bottle of wine?'
I said about 20 minutes!
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"I have travelled just about all over the world."
"Wow, you must know geography well?"
"Oh yes, I spent 2 months there once."
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I saw a council worker tread on a snail. I asked him why he did that.
He said it had been following him round all morning.
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