Poor you! I cannot give you the legal advice but having been in a very similar situation, I sympathise and can, with experience tell you that the only solution is for you to be clear and plain and make the woman understand that you do not want to take care of her children. This is your right and you should not need to make excuses to anyone for something you do not want to do. Practise what you need to say, remain calm and stick to the point. Do not be sidetracked by all her valid reasons why she needs help. That is not your problem or your responsibility. If you cannot speak in person, then write a letter. Do not get wrapped into how sorry you are, or why you cant. You owe nobody any explanation, you have your rights and she is abusing them. Be firm but polite and oh so very clear. ' I am sorry, I do not want to take care of your children, you will have to make other arrangements, I cannot help you.' Good luck