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can my ex stop me moving?
when we divorced we made an agreement that my ex would see our daughter every weekend and over school holidays if arranged. i have met a new guy and wish to leave to rea to be with him and also i think it would be better life for our 9yo daughter, it is about 180 miles from where we live now but her dad doesnt like it. it is a nicer area with alot less crime and the school is much better pass rate that she is in now. he is not on the birth certificate and has told me he is going to get an injunction out to stop me moving while he goes for joint custody, he wants her 6 months of the year. can he do this?
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The fact that his name is not on the birth certificate is irrelevant - you were married and that gives him paternal responsibility. He has as much say in where your daughter lives as you do.
What does your daughter want? How does she feel about leaving her dad, her friends and school to live with a new man?
Her dad has the right to go to court to get the court's decision on this - your daughter's opinions will be taken in to account.
What does your daughter want? How does she feel about leaving her dad, her friends and school to live with a new man?
Her dad has the right to go to court to get the court's decision on this - your daughter's opinions will be taken in to account.
no. he cannot stop you moving if it is within the same country as you are resident now and will look an ass in court if he applies for custody if you are moving. keep your head down, remain calm and carry on with your plans - it is your life, after all. makke sure you behave yourself and the only person who is going to come out of this looking bad is your ex. good luck with your new life x
dont envy you hun but wish you all the best x
at the end of the day your daughters best interests are the most important factor in all of this x
sounds like the move into a better area with better schooling less crime is going to be best for her in the long term x
its not like you're taking her away and not letting her see her dad again x
shes old enough to make her own mind up lets face it some kids divorce their parents these days!
at the end of the day your daughters best interests are the most important factor in all of this x
sounds like the move into a better area with better schooling less crime is going to be best for her in the long term x
its not like you're taking her away and not letting her see her dad again x
shes old enough to make her own mind up lets face it some kids divorce their parents these days!
no he cant .... the court will side with you as the court always want what is best for the child and being away from the mother for 6 months is not good...yes i know there will be people on here saying the same its not far on the father but can he take care of your child day and night like you do...
yes, he has her every fri over night and sometimes the sat too, unless i have taken her to my new partners which he was fine with me doing until i said we wish to move, now he is saying he fears for her safety because i met him on the internet..... yes i did meet him online but we have had an amazing relationship for the last year and he wants to take care of both of us.
i dont want to stay in this area, we are getting targeted with vandelism to vehicles and its a nasty area all round, plus i was attacked last year ona train and the people responsible get out of prison soon so i wanted away before that time. plus if my man comes here he has to struggling finding a job when he already has a good stable job
Your ex has parental responsibility, so while it is 'your life' to start new relationships and live where ever you like, your ex does have a lot of say, including:
providing a home for the child
having contact with and living with the child
protecting and maintaining the child
disciplining the child
choosing and providing for the child's education
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRig hts/DG_4002954
I hear what you are saying about the area you are living in and the trouble you have had, but is it so bad that you would have to move away even if you didn't have a new boyfriend?
providing a home for the child
having contact with and living with the child
protecting and maintaining the child
disciplining the child
choosing and providing for the child's education
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ParentsRig hts/DG_4002954
I hear what you are saying about the area you are living in and the trouble you have had, but is it so bad that you would have to move away even if you didn't have a new boyfriend?
my partner has children. I moved from the other end of the country to be with him as it was important for him to remain close to his children. Might be something your new man wants to think about? If you ended up having children with him how would he feel if you then moved them far away? if he moved to your area maybe you could between you afford a slightly better area?
You said that your daughter wants to move - be sure that this is because she has all the facts and not just because you have told her all the lovely things and that the scary people who attacked her might come back. Its easy to convice a child. People have said it is your life - but you chose to have a child with this man and part of doing what is best for her is supporting her to maintain a relationship with her father. Can you imagine going from seeing your daughter once a week to once a month? Or if he was going to continue with the every week visits surely you would have to bring her to him more than once a month for that to be fair? But to be honest its unlikely that every weekend visits could be kept up with an at least 6 hour round trip.
Maybe these questions won't be helpful or maybe they are the bits you won't want to think about as you have made up your mind already. Just thought I would point them out.
You said that your daughter wants to move - be sure that this is because she has all the facts and not just because you have told her all the lovely things and that the scary people who attacked her might come back. Its easy to convice a child. People have said it is your life - but you chose to have a child with this man and part of doing what is best for her is supporting her to maintain a relationship with her father. Can you imagine going from seeing your daughter once a week to once a month? Or if he was going to continue with the every week visits surely you would have to bring her to him more than once a month for that to be fair? But to be honest its unlikely that every weekend visits could be kept up with an at least 6 hour round trip.
Maybe these questions won't be helpful or maybe they are the bits you won't want to think about as you have made up your mind already. Just thought I would point them out.
Solicitors often offer an initial,impartial free 30 minute consultation. Try to arrange several of these. That way you may get an idea of which way your case may go-IF you decide to do it thru a solcitor.Also -discuss with your new partner any possible adjustments that can be made on his part..ie-keeping his job,but finding a place to live that is closer to mid-way between his and yours. Everyone will then have to travel a bit more,but it will be more equal.
You could also seek impartial advice from the CAB.
You could also seek impartial advice from the CAB.
there arent any nice places where i live now, my daughter doesnt know about the people gettin out of prison, she made her mind up based on her visits there and the friends she has made there. but my partner has said if i cant move to him he will move to me. and the once a month thing is because my partner doesnt have a car yet but would be able to borrow his dads once a month.
If you were married when your daughter was born then he must be on the birth certificate, if she was born before you were married he could have been added to her birth registration to legitimise her, if you divorced him before he could do that not sure if he can still be added.
Have you just looked at the short birth certificate? who registered her birth? you , him or both of you? If it was him or both of you then he will be on it, if you registered her and you were legally married to him at the time you should have added him at that time anyway.
Though it's irrelevant as regards him stopping you if you have custody I guess.
Have you just looked at the short birth certificate? who registered her birth? you , him or both of you? If it was him or both of you then he will be on it, if you registered her and you were legally married to him at the time you should have added him at that time anyway.
Though it's irrelevant as regards him stopping you if you have custody I guess.
I have just read the comments in this thread and as a father whom is facing the prospect of having his son moved out of a realistic weekly reach, i find them to be a little one sided and favouring the mother regardless.
I have a son whom is 4 years old and lives with his mother. We were married before he was born and have subsequently been divorced. As part of the 1.5 year court battle, i have automatic parental responsibilities for him but in all reality, this means nothing.
Because his mother does not feel like i need to know, i don't even know his address, what nursery / school he's attending, his doctors, any allergies or any of that kind of information. She wont speak to me when i collect him or drop him off and 90% of the time she refuses to speak to him in English (she is Chinese) so i don't know what's been said or what's going on.... and don't misunderstand me, i have no issue with her speaking in Chinese to him.... when he is with her, my argument is that she should speak English to him whilst he is at my house, my current partner and i do not speak Chinese and it is important that we understand everything that is going on and being said whilst he is in our care.
She has made it very clear that she intends to move from the Leeds area down to London. There is a court order in place stating that she has to make him available for contact every Friday at 3pm until Sunday at 4pm. I NEVER miss contact with him. i love him and want to spend as much time as possible with him. He loves coming over to us. He gets to see his only other family (besides his mum) whilst he is with us. That's his aunties, uncles, grand parents, cousins and MOST IMPORTANTLY, his four sisters.
She has not gone to London as yet as she states that she can not afford the living costs there at the moment and that the only reason for her to move to London is to try and get otis into a prestigious school. Something that in my eyes should not be taking priority over his family that he loves dearly. There are plenty of good schools in the West Yorkshire area.
As things stand, she does not stick to the court order every week, despite warnings from not just her solicitors but also from the judge himself. She feels that i am only his father by law. As far as she is concerned, i am to be a father to him only y way of a cheque book and a telephone line!!!
our relationship together was a rocky one once we returned to the UK from China. However, despite my inner anger feelings towards her, I have always kept my cool and always worded things in a correct manner. At the end of the day, thiswhole thing is not about her or myself, it is about our 4 year old son. I only want what is best for him and i think that unless the father (or the mother) si an immediate danger to that child, then it is very important for a child to see and interact with both his father and his mother. I accept that it is sometimes easier said than done, but for me, as a loving father, i would never stop trying, no matter how it made me feel inside. Is that not what a parent is all about? Sacrificing your own needs where needed in order to put those of your child first?
I am about to embark on mediation services to try and make sense of this whole thing with her. Call me a pessimist but i believe it will end up only being a stepping stone to a full blown court case again. My fear is that she will up and move him before we even get that far.
As 2 parents, all though it be separated ones, i think it is vital that you should work together to do right by you child / children. They are innocent in all of this. It's not about you or your estranged partner.
I hope that one day she realises this and that my son will not have to loose contact with the only family (other than his mother, she is Chinese and all her family are still over in china) that he has and loves in this country.
I have a son whom is 4 years old and lives with his mother. We were married before he was born and have subsequently been divorced. As part of the 1.5 year court battle, i have automatic parental responsibilities for him but in all reality, this means nothing.
Because his mother does not feel like i need to know, i don't even know his address, what nursery / school he's attending, his doctors, any allergies or any of that kind of information. She wont speak to me when i collect him or drop him off and 90% of the time she refuses to speak to him in English (she is Chinese) so i don't know what's been said or what's going on.... and don't misunderstand me, i have no issue with her speaking in Chinese to him.... when he is with her, my argument is that she should speak English to him whilst he is at my house, my current partner and i do not speak Chinese and it is important that we understand everything that is going on and being said whilst he is in our care.
She has made it very clear that she intends to move from the Leeds area down to London. There is a court order in place stating that she has to make him available for contact every Friday at 3pm until Sunday at 4pm. I NEVER miss contact with him. i love him and want to spend as much time as possible with him. He loves coming over to us. He gets to see his only other family (besides his mum) whilst he is with us. That's his aunties, uncles, grand parents, cousins and MOST IMPORTANTLY, his four sisters.
She has not gone to London as yet as she states that she can not afford the living costs there at the moment and that the only reason for her to move to London is to try and get otis into a prestigious school. Something that in my eyes should not be taking priority over his family that he loves dearly. There are plenty of good schools in the West Yorkshire area.
As things stand, she does not stick to the court order every week, despite warnings from not just her solicitors but also from the judge himself. She feels that i am only his father by law. As far as she is concerned, i am to be a father to him only y way of a cheque book and a telephone line!!!
our relationship together was a rocky one once we returned to the UK from China. However, despite my inner anger feelings towards her, I have always kept my cool and always worded things in a correct manner. At the end of the day, thiswhole thing is not about her or myself, it is about our 4 year old son. I only want what is best for him and i think that unless the father (or the mother) si an immediate danger to that child, then it is very important for a child to see and interact with both his father and his mother. I accept that it is sometimes easier said than done, but for me, as a loving father, i would never stop trying, no matter how it made me feel inside. Is that not what a parent is all about? Sacrificing your own needs where needed in order to put those of your child first?
I am about to embark on mediation services to try and make sense of this whole thing with her. Call me a pessimist but i believe it will end up only being a stepping stone to a full blown court case again. My fear is that she will up and move him before we even get that far.
As 2 parents, all though it be separated ones, i think it is vital that you should work together to do right by you child / children. They are innocent in all of this. It's not about you or your estranged partner.
I hope that one day she realises this and that my son will not have to loose contact with the only family (other than his mother, she is Chinese and all her family are still over in china) that he has and loves in this country.
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