Fair To Ask Help With Transport?

[taichiperson]

Some of you might be familiar with the questions I've asked about caring for my Mum who lives on her own at the age of 83. I'll be applying for Lasting Power of Attorney and by the sound of it, I will have to keep a separate account of her financial affairs. This is simple in itself, but I want to be fair in managing her money.

Dad left her well off, and her pension is still more than my partner earned when he was working full time. Now he is retired, and although I work part time, I don't earn enough to pay tax, so our income is considerably less than hers. I need a car to work, and hubby still has his. I'm an only child, so apart from us, there is only my eldest son who can take care of her - and he works full time and has his own life.

My question is this - I personally think it is fair to ask Mum to contribute to running costs for the cars, as she doesn't use busses or taxis. She gives me some money already for petrol, and if there's a large garage bill she also contributes. When she is no longer able to make her own decisions about her finances, is it fair for me to take money for running her around etc, or for domestic emergencies? Dad was always fair but generous if we ever needed money but I don't want to be accused of taking advantage of her financially.

[murraymints]

if she customarily contributes in this manner yes.. but only to the same extent as before

[sunny-dave]

I think 'just carrying on' with petrol money and occasional contributions to big bills would leave you open to someone suggesting that you are taking advantage (when in fact you are not doing so).

I'd think instead about carefully recording all journeys which you are making solely for your Mum's benefit (ie you wouldn't have done the miles otherwise) - then you reimburse yourself at the usual rate which HMRC allow for that sort of mileage - it used to be about 40p per mile, but may have gone up since I last had need of the figure. This includes payment for petrol & running expenses of the car.

That way you have a cast-iron defence in the (hopefully unlikely) event that you are challenged.

Dave

[ubasses]

Have a look at the link below. You can carry on making gifts/donations that your mother would normally do ie: birthdays/christmas/charities..
And you can claim reasonable expenses but they must all be documented. Read sections 2 & 5.
https://www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties/property-financial-affairs

[taichiperson]

Thanks Dave. I'm thinking of a flat rate for running costs rather than going with mileage - presently I take her out twice a week for lunch and shopping, hubby takes her out once for lunch and a drive, and on Sundays we run her to ours and back for dinner - plus she goes to a painting class once or twice a month so it's fairly regular. I'll perhaps work out a weekly average.

[taichiperson]

Thanks ubasses that was exactly what I was looking for - I'd been on the site but hadn't found that page yet. Will read it over :)

[HansUrbancka]

I don't think for one minute that you are the sort of person who would 'rip-off' you mum. If you were, it is doubtful that you would have posted as you have into AB.

Get a small notebook and record all the mileage you do for you mum, whether she is with you or not. e.g. If you go shopping on her behalf, or collecting medical prescriptions etc. Then cost the mileage accordingly.

Hans.

[woofgang]

I think it would be sensible to do both.....keep a diary over say 4 months and draw the money according to the diary and then you can work out an average based on factual figures....that way if there ever were questions asked you can show what you based your average on.

[taichiperson]

Thanks all, very reassuring. I've done a rough calculation and we probably do about 120 miles a week, so asking about £50 or so is not unreasonable I think.

Next task - trying to persuade her to let me clear out some cupboards - not an easy task at all, she's a real hoarder!

[HansUrbancka]

The HMCR motor vehicle rate per mile was originally (as said by sunny-dave) 40p per mile, but since 2012 has been 45p. You could certainly apply the rate to both of your cars.

https://www.gov.uk/expenses-and-benefits-business-travel-mileage/rules-for-tax

Hans.

[cassa333]

I may have read this wrong but are you asking that your mother, either now or when you fully take over her finances, pay you more for your travel because you now earn less than you did or simply because your mother has better means to pay it than you?

Where I agree that reasonable expenses should be reimbursed that doesn't mean she should sub your life's expenses any more than she does now. And that sub should be for the one car not two just because you want or own or run two!

I think you should sit down with her before she becomes too incapable and tell her you can't afford to run two cars unless she make a formal admission to pay you for your help.

Or you could get her to buy your second car from you for her use but it is 'managed' from your home. She then pays for all associated costs for your second car. And only have the usual expenses for 'your' one.

As has already been said if she makes regular payments then they can carry on but TBH I would try to formalise that now before she gets incapable.

It sounds like she helps you out a bit now and then anyway and she may be happy to do that and for it to carry on later but better safe than sorry.

[taichiperson]

Sorry if I was unclear Cassa, I was not suggesting any change in what she gives to us, just what might be deemed as 'fair'. My car used to be my father's so it's kind of half for her benefit anyway. We live out in the sticks so it would be hard to run just with one car, and we can just about manage costs - in the future we may have to make do, but for now it's necessary.

[cassa333]

I would definitely talk to her about reasonable costs. Although if you are the only child you will likely inherit mostly everything but the devil likes to look for wrongdoing when money in concerned. Buying your car would be a good way for you to have the benefit of the car but the expenses paid by her. And of course you would have a little bit of cash as well.

Formalise is better for your peace of mind I think.

[Tilly2]

I had Power of Attorney for my dad and as an only child was the person who took him here, there and everywhere. If we went out for a meal he always insisted on paying 'his way' and would ask me to get money from the bank so that he could contribute to the meal.

All his bank statements came to me but every month I would take them to dad so that he could see that his money was as it should be.

I would never have dreamed of charging him for petrol or asking him for money for 'running costs'. He was my dad and over the years he has spent thousands on me. It was time to pay him back when he got older and needed help.

In the end, when he died, all the money came to me anyway.

[TWR]

I have POA for my Mother Taich, I have a Folder /A4 Sheets & Sleeves, I mark the pages 1.2.3.4 Etc, Date / What Garage etc / Cost / & Numbered froe Reference, get a receipt for EVERYTHING that you spend on regards your Mum, that way no=one can turn around that you have fiddled, I've had to do that due to a devious thing I call a brother.

[woofgang]

Tilly, that's fine if you can afford it.

[Tilly2]

I realise that, Woof.