ivy, my 95 yr old mother also has dementia and lives at home with me. She is still mentally capable of making decisions and when she recently had a problem with the skin under her breasts, the female carers that help me look after her were unsure about what to do. I asked her if she would allow ratter (my OH, who is highly qualified) to have a look and she said yes, that she would appreciate this. If she had objected and he had forced an inspection of her breasts on her, she would have been outraged and so would I! Please consider ... would you object to a male nurse in hospital or a male doctor looking after your mother? These are professionals and like ratter has said, your mother (or you, if she is not able to make decisions for herself) can choose whether or not you want to allow a male carer to do personal care for her. Even elderly ladies who do not have dementia quite often feel perfectly alright with a male carer. I have known residents who have at first not wanted a male carer, then specifically requesting that ratter take over their personal care as he always treats the residents with dignity and great respect and is gentle with them. So please don't be too upset by the thought of male carers looking after female residents. It is no different from male paramedics, nurses and doctors. But you do have every right to chose and if you feel your mother would not want this, then you need to demand that she is listed as wanting "female carer only"! You do have a say and they do have to listen to you! I wish you all the best. Your opinion matters!