Bullies from childhood

[Purple_Popple]

I have been chatting on FB with some old school pals who set up a page for our school days - sharing memories etc, I was bullied badly at school and will never forget the people who did that. Some of these 'bullies' have asked for my friendship and I've declined - why do they act like nothing happened back then, or perhaps they cant remember, but would you live and let live and befriend them, or would you ignore them and have nothing further to do with them?

[DTCwordfan]

No I wouldn't - I know what you mean PP.

[Mosaic]

You are in control - nobody else - and you are entitled to make your own choices and decisions.
I do not accept all requests for FB friends - you don't have to.

[cathfromsaron]

entirely your choice! and i agree it's a bit rich!

[Jan1957]

I would do exactly the same as you have done, ignore them.

[Prudie]

No I wouldn't but then I find it hard to forgive. However I have found lots of people don't have such good memories.

[marden40]

I wouldn't have them as friends, why should you......just to ease their conscience

[paddywak]

I was bullied quite badly by a particular group, this went on for a while until the ring leader of the group made two serious mistake when he started on me, one he was by himself and two it was out of school. I proceeded to give him a good thumping and finished off by telling him if I had any trouble at school I'd find him again. I've never forgiven or forgotten him and at the only school reunion I've attended I had the greatest pleasure in telling him that even if he'd conveniently forgotten some things I hadn't and what I'd told him then still applied.

[MarkRae]

Good for you, PP! Why would you want to have anything to do with these people? Are you able to give a reason when declining friendship?

[EcclesCake]

I wouldn't bother with them.

I went to a school reunion recently and was surprised to find that the folk I didn't like then I could still see the same unpleasant traits in today.

[Purple_Popple]

No I cant forgive, some of it was quite nasty...I have ignored the requests, but I suddenly had a pang of selfishness and thought "i should have got over this by now" life goes on etc...but I dont think its that simple. 4 girls from school waited for me and ambushed me while I walked home and beat the living daylights out of me. I did have 4 brothers though ! ;-)

[Purple_Popple]

I have attended a school reunion, and one of the girls there who was quite vicious to me at school was very friendly to me, I smiled at her and acknowledged her but she had gained 20 stone and looked like the back end of a tram smash !! (Ironically she was quite slim and pretty at school) - karma !

[woofgang]

I honestly think that people "forget" how horrible they were at school or sort of remember it as "just fun" While they are allowed to get away with this. We will be in a society where bullying is not treated with the seriousness it merits.

I would cut them dead.

[ummmm]

Ignore.

The way I look at things, If I can remember, then they can remember. If they can't remember then they're in denial. I don't want to be friends with people in denial.

[jno]

how long ago was all this? People do change over time, and they may quite literally have forgotten stuff they did at school. (It probably meant more to you than it did to them.)

But whatever; you don't have to accept any friend request if you don't want.

[mandy22]

I would defo ignore them, i wouldnt want to stop and talk to them in the street so why would we be friends on facebook. - they maybe choose to forget what happened but you will never forget it. Ignore them

[cazzz1975]

I agree with ummm, they probably do remember and they might feel ashamed so pretend they cant remember, as far as I am concerned they can jog on, especially if they pretend they cannot remember.

[tenrec]

I think jno is right. They will have long since forgotten how mean they were, but the people they did it to will never forget.

[maggiebee]

Remember my daughter in law telling me she went to a school reunion. Woman came up to her and started chatting about the "good old days". My DIL turned and said "good old days? you made my life a total misery at school with your bullying so fcuk off"

[lcg]

i'll never forget what happened at school. i was no angel, but never picked on anyone else and was my own worst enemy. however, some of the snotty, rich, bitchy elite from the school i attended have tried to contact me through fb and friends reunited (from info from my actual friends). i have never used either and do not plan to. i may go to school reunions in the future, but cannot promise i will be well behaved - and i've got a couple of people i certainly need to see for five minutes. if you know what i mean.

[bravejordy]

Just to add my tuppence worth... No, I wouldn't have anything to do with them because the big question on my mind would be "Have these childhood bullies now become cyber bullies?" Give them a wide berth.