Divorce - Want To Emigrate, Ex Wont Agree To Sell Home And Will Be Keeping Son Who Is Under 18

[Downtrodden]

I am trying to divorce which ex has agreed to and requested me to initiate. I have paid to start the process however now he refuses to continue as I have long term plans to emigrate. I will not take my son, currently 14, as and when it finally happens, however I am dependent on the money I have invested in my house where I continue to live with my son, to start me off. For the 1st 8 months minimum of living there I will not be able to work by law therefore I will have no money to support myself. My ex say he will not buy me out nor agree to sell and on top of that he expects me to pay him for half the mortgage as well as maintenance as I have managed to get him contribute, be it he has not always since we split and he has not been truthful with his earnings so I get the very minimum he can pay a week. He has made no investment into the house since he left. I have never denied any responsibility of my son and will not however if I am in the states does the UK law still cover there for his demands even when I am not earning and also can I still sell half the property without his agreement? He is doing this as he has a great social life and is bitter. I have no life at all, I work, i pay the bills and he is doing whatever he can to ruin me as has said he is not happy me going as this will stop. I am at breaking point. How can I possibly support with no income? Do I have to pay for the roof over his head as my son will live with him?

[boxtops]

He can buy you out of the property - he'll just take on all the mortgage and give you the difference, that's what my ex and I did. Why do you have to emigrate so quickly, when you won't be able to maintain yourself in the US - are you sure they'll let you in to live in the US, with no visible means of financial support?

[ladybirder]

Boxy he has said he won't buy her out.

[boxtops]

I missed that, in the middle of the OP. However - if they divorce, her solicitor will surely demonstrate that she contributed to the cost of the mortgage, in which case she is entitled to a percentage of the house value. He may have no choice in the matter.

[Downtrodden]

Yes - we have been split 2 years now - he has been living with his GF who is twice divorced and advising all the things to try to stop me getting anything. I wish to move on with my life and have a partner in the states. It will be a minimum of 1 year I will be able to emigrate and he wishes us to marry. My ex knows that I cannot do anything by British law without his agreement. He says he has been advised I have to continue paying the mortgage, for him to keep a roof over his head as he will care for our son and child maintenance. I will not have any earnings in the states so cannot move on in life and support my son even if I did - if i cannot sell my share of the house. I had no intentions of asking for anything other than my fair share - he could keep all posessions....

[Downtrodden]

... sorry British law says that the other parent has to keep a roof over the head of the parent caring for a child under 18 in education. If I am in states am I still liable for thsi plus maintenance as there will be no income if he will not allow me my share. He claims he has been advised he can just move back in and i have to keep paying.

[FredPuli43]

You need a solicitor who does family law.

Your husband gone off to live with his girlfriend ? Did you live with him as man and wife for six months or more after you knew that he was having sex with her? If the answer to the second question is "No" then divorce him on the basis that the marriage has irretrievably broken down because of his adultery. You don't need his consent or agreement to do that; he can't refuse to be divorced. The court will not finalise the decree until it is satisfied that arrangements for children are suitable.

You are entitled to financial provision from him and such share of the matrimonial assets; it doesn't matter whose name the are in; as seems right taking into account contributions you have made, directly or indirectly, and not necessarily financial. As to the home, you get an order of the court, as part of the financial arrangement it directs. This may be to sell it and divide the proceeds, in what seems a fair division, though the court can make any order

[FredPuli43]

And by the way,he's talking a lot of bullying rubbish, absolute nonsense. His lawyer will straighten him out. And the judge certainly will; both are used to this kind of blustering and he's heading for a shock

[Downtrodden]

Thank you both for your comments - yes I know he is bullying me as be it 2 years have gone - I have no life at all but there is a future which he is trying to stop and is throwing every card at me he can get as his GF is twice divorced as well and they have a fantatstic social life - my moving on will effect this xx

[bednobs]

how will you moving on affect their social life?

[FredPuli43]

Not quite following. You are not taking your son to the States when you emigrate. Well, then you'll have an order for joint custody with your ex-husband, with care and control to him, the child living with him, access to you when and where that is possible, either here or in the States. He'd be the one with the duty of housing the boy when you leave. The boy can be with you until that time comes.

You are long way from being unique in this. Many parents divorce, with one parent going to live abroad, and the courts are used to making suitable orders. In all cases, the interests of the child are paramount. Here they appear to be that the boy live with ex, at least when you leave. And he's to be supported by money from your husband.

I still think that a brief chat with a 'family' solicitor would save you a lot of worry. If you have no funds in hand for litigation, you'll find that not much of an obstacle; your husband will end up paying, if I'm any judge!

[bednobs]

i am also confused - if the situation were reversed (ie your ex wanted to move abroad and not pay any maintenance AND sell the house you were living in with the child) i guess it wouldn't seem so palatable.
Just out of interest, who does oyur son want to live with? If it's his dad, why isn't he? If it's you, why are you moving abroad?