Can A School Do This?

[Andy11235]

I am a divorced teacher and have full parental rights for my 14 year old son who lives with his mum. As they live along way away, I see him every other weekend and in holidays. This was all agreed as part of the divorce and has never changed.

At the end of the year I'm hoping to take him to see his great grandmother who is 100. This will require him having two days off school and I have contacted the school to request that they consider allowing the absence given the special circumstances.

Now as a teacher I know all the new laws regarding holidays etc and this is not the issue. The head teacher has stated in a letter to me that he will authorise the absence if the official form is filled in and countersigned by my ex wife!!!

Surely this is not the head teacher's call to make and this is discrimination against me. After all, I doubt he would ask my son's mother for my signature if she was taking our son away. The dfes guidelines are clear from my memory - that all parents with parental responsibility should be treated equally in all matters pertaining to the education of a child.

Are they really allowed to do this?

[bednobs]

If each parent with pr must be treated equally then he should ask her though.

[bednobs]

If each parent with pr must be treated equally then he should ask her though.

[boxtops]

He lives with his mother - I can see why they'd need to get her consent.

[pixie373]

Yes, of course she needs to know and agree. He lives with her.

[Nini74]

as she would no doubt be the person they would contact in a case of truancy or absence from school, then I can understand why they'd want her to sign an application for approved absence tbh. I don't consider, IMO, that this is in any way discrimination - you may have parental rights (the correct term I think is parental responsibility), but she has responsibility for him on a day to day basis, and in relation to him attending school. Do you think she'll object to signing the form or something?

[Andy11235]

Many thanks for the replies. I do see your point boxtops. i would certainly want to know if he was going away if roles were reversed. But my issue is whether the school should be taking the stance. After all, the police system would take no action if i took him abroad for two weeks. (Although I may well get several calls from her in the meantime)

The school should be making a decision over whether to authorise the absence. That needs no requirement beyond information about the absence and the fact that they have no duty of care as he will be with his father.

[factor-fiction]

I think all the schools I've worked in would take the same stance. What if his mother insists he attends school on those days? How is the school expected to resolve that conflict?

[Andy11235]

Very true ff. nini74 I have absolutely no doubt that his mum will countersign the form. But the dfes website is clear on the matter after the most recent update. The decision to authorised an absence must be made on a case by case basis based upon various listed factors. None of which involve the residential a parent point of view.

I would add though that if my ex wife and me came to an argument over whether he was going on holiday or not, it would not be the school's place to oversee the conflict or resolve it.
Only whether to authorise the absence when it finally occurred...

[diddlydo]

As a retired teacher and governor of a school, I would say ask no more questions and seek no more permissions - just do it! Good luck to you and have a wonderful visit.

[joko]

they need her signature because if the child is absent from school for 2 days without the mothers consent - and it turns out you have snatched the child and fled the country and no-one informed the mother the child had not been to school for 2 days, when she had believed he had just been staying with the father for 2 days and going to school as normal - they would be in a lot of trouble.

you may claim she is ok with it, but they don't know that, they need to be sure, and as she is responsible for him on a daily basis, sorry to say her word 'outranks' yours in this situation.