Fostering & Adoption

[tamborine]

3 families fostered but I never see the kids (adult now). When I ask after them the answers are evasive. There is no mention of them on their family facebook sites, nor employed in the family business.

Am curious as to why these relations go awry?

[Retrochic]

What makes you think things have gone so awry? What is an 'evasive' answer? maybe they just want to keep their private life private -not everyone feels the need to broadcast their lives all over the net.

[Peter Pedant]

yeah but it is nice to thanked for ones help or even know if it did some good.

I found my Latin teacher still motored across the county to coffee with my mother twenty years after I stopped learning Latin. - but I was good I scored 98% in one paper.....

[Retrochic]

I agree peter, but the OP has decided in her mind that the relationship between the foster children and the foster parents has broken down. This may not be the case, they may have a good relationship but just don't want to share their personal lives with neighbours or random people on FB.

[ChillDoubt]

Maybe those fostered have express wishes that they do not want anyone seeking them or their birth parents making contact with them at this present time and may want to leave such possible events until later in life.

[tamborine]

The parents 'up' their bio kids achievements but never mention the fosters. With 3 families, when I ask, its always "theyre nannying abroad" & distract enquiries. I just wondered if we have any foster experience here?

[Retrochic]

well then tambo , they are nannying abroad, end of. Maybe they are gently telling you to mind your own business? I know someone who fosters and they have bio children too. The foster ones tend to leave to go to more permanent carers, or get to 17 and go their own ways, I guess everyone 's situation is different.

[Daffy6543]

Foster parents don't have the right to tell strangers or acquaintances about the children they once looked after. It is none of anyone else's business.
I was fostered a few times and would be really peed off if I thought the people I had stayed with were telling all and sundry about me and where i'd gone.

[bednobs]

if they are fostered, they may not have even kept up with them once they moved on, pr got adopted by someone else

[tamborine]

I was unaware of the privacy daffy; I wish people would say 'its private'. Our kids went to school together & friends ask after mine as I do theirs. Nowt to do with noseyness. just interest.

[tamborine]

The foster kids shared bday parties, camping, outings, school runs with mine and seeing them grow from primary school I dont see it as intrusive to ask how they are.