my son also got fined - for a parking offence, not damaging other people's property (which may not be heinous crime, but it costs the taxpayer an awful lot of money to deal with - the victim, police and court time, probation and/or fines service etc., so it is not just the paltry fine itself that truly is at stake for this 'simple' offence). the ticket was only £40, but his student drinking habits meant that he could not pay it in time before it doubled. he then chose not to pay it when he got paid at the end of the month either because he was sleeping lots rather than getting off his a r s e and working in his summer holiday from uni. did i pay it? did i lend him the money? no i didn't - i had the money to do so at £40.....but i refuse to encourage his slovenly habits and drinking when he should be getting off his bum and working (like normal people do). so yes - i think your parenting is skewed. how will your son ever learn if his mother is useless and you try to over-compensate for this? the benefits system is there for a reason, and your son should claim his money, pay his fines and start to join the rest of the responsible adult population in being self-reliant and not blaming everybody or anything else for his woes. if further punishment and sanction is needed to propel him forward into doing this, i suggest you advise him calmly in what he needs to do ad is entitled to claim and then let him make his own decisons, and live by them.