Am I Being Unreasonable

[Katieedwards2312]

Am i being unreasonable?

So i found out today that my husbands younger brother cheated on his girlfriend over the weekend. My husband works with his brother and they decided to go down the pub after work. Apparently his brother met this girl. He went back to her place and so on..... only my husband did not tell me this. This was apparently to spare my feelings towards his brother. However my husband got in after i went to bed (the norm on a lads night out) when i asked where he got too he said he went back to a friends and left his brother there because he was done for the night and wanted to come home, so left him. My husbands mum called me in the morning and told me his brother didnt get back until 9am......now i didnt think to much of this until MY mum (of all people) told me my husbands brother apparently had met this girl.... she found out through my brother inlaw who clearly thought my husband had already shared this info with me???? and had also been told this info by my husband????? I am so angry that i have found out like this.......but what hurts the most is he lied to me about coming home and leaving his brother at a friends.....am i being completely unreasonable by being angry??? He seems to think that my anger is a complete over reaction. I truly feel hurt by being lied to and how i believed him....i trusted him implicitly; but i cant help but feel this trust has been misplaced.....what else has he lied to me abou

[Peter Pedant]

// what else has he lied to me about// and who else has he slept with?
yes you are being totally unreasonable....

and yes I have routinely omitted to say who was screwing whom as I thought it was none of my business - this has worked for around 50y

[kvalidir]

I think he has just tried to be careful, in that obviously given what's happened, his brother would I imagine preferred to keep it quiet, and he didn't want to tell anyone including you in case it caused trouble. I wouldn't expect my man to tell me absolutely everything especially delicate things that didn't directly involve me. I don't think it means that your husband is likely to have lied to you about anything else, just this scenario didn't need to be told to ANYONE. x

[anneasquith]

I'm a wee bit confused with the details

[Katieedwards2312]

Wow ok peter....

[Katieedwards2312]

i genuinely wish i never found out??? It just bothers me he lied to me......he didnt even have to elaborate on the details??? He could of just said he went to a friends...that would of satisfied??? He went out of his way to tell me he left his brother at his friends.....straight up looked me in the eye and lied

[Baldric]

// but what hurts the most is he lied to me about coming home and leaving his brother at a friends //

No he didn't, he came home leaving his Brother with someone he, the Brother, was friendly with.

[kvalidir]

Honestly I think you are over thinking this, and I really think it will be erosive and counter productive to dwell on it. It's done, I personally can't see he's done anything wrong really,he manouvered around telling you his brother had been bumping uglies with someone else, which is just what people would do I think. Put it behind you x

[Old_Geezer]

Yes. He's not going to volunteer information or his brother's misdeeds is he. And I'd reckon the girl must have been friendly with the brother so he was left with a friend. So no issue at all. Don't expect anyone, partners included, to go volunteering every aspect of everything. You're still individuals. Need to be realistic.

[ToraToraTora]

yes you are being silly. Rule 1 among blokes is never talk about your mates'/brother's indiscretions with your other half especially if they know the persons concerned. He did not lie anyway he said he had had enough for the night and had left his brother to it, is that not true? Ok he failed to mention that his brother had met someone. What they get up to is neither his nor your business and at that point is only speculation anyway. So yes I think you are totally unreasonable.

[ToraToraTora]

"It just bothers me he lied to me..." - I can't see where he lied to you, he omitted details, that's all.

[murraymints]

as above..he was sparing you the gory details..not your business really is it..get over it !

[ToraToraTora]

spath he did not lie.

[Sqad]

Typical, everyday scenario.......both your husband and your brother -in -law picked up two spare women.
It happens........yes you are right to be angry....it is over ( I think) so get over it.

[Katieedwards2312]

What his brother does is not my concern, nor am i his keeper...The friend is my husbands friend not his brothers. This is what i have an issue with....spinning me a lie and how it rolled of his tounge so easily???

[Baldric]

So, he actually named a Friend, you didn't tell us that previously

[Katieedwards2312]

Yeah....sorry bit *** off and tired when i wrote it....

[ummmm]

My OH probably wouldn't have said much to me in the same scenario.

I don't think it's lies. Men just don't elaborate like women do. They tend not to go into too much details.

[ummmm]

Depends on the partner. If they are likely to blab then no, you hold stuff back.