To Forgive A Cheater ?

[AnswersNeeded]

I've been in a relationship for 1 year with this amazing guy. He isn't afraid to show love and affection no matter where. He's always making surprises for me, making me laugh and he always wants to spend time with me. Everything about us is great minus this one thing... He cheated on me, with three girls actually. For months. I had my doubts and asked him about them but he would always say how that's not true, how he could never do that. one month later I get my proof. He's been in a relationship with one of them, with the other he was sexting, and the third one he wanted to marry to get citizenship of the country we live in. I was in shock. broke up with him afterwards and he's been in a *** mood ever since. Crying, begging, anger, depression... He keeps telling me that he did that stupid mistake once and that he'll never do it again. Deep inside, I don't want to forgive him because - once a cheater always a cheater.i don't trust him anymore. But I also know that I will never meet anyone that would treat me so good and sweet like he did, someone who matches me completely. What should I do, I'm so confused about this whole situation?!?!

[ummmm]

Run a mile unless you want a life of heartbreak.

1 year..you should still be in the honeymoon period...clearly he's not.

[murraymints]

walk away !!!

[spathiphyllum]

A year isn't long enough to build up trust for him then to be able to cheat on you with multiple women over a period of time and class it as a "mistake". Cut him out of your life, move on. He sounds like scum.

[Sqad]

LOL.........here they go.

[spathiphyllum]

" I will never meet anyone that would treat me so good and sweet like he did"

It was all fake because he cheated on you. It was a front. You will find someone who actually is honest about their feelings, and doesn't use them as a front to hide their hidden scummy life.

You are better than this and you honestly deserve more.

[ummmm]

What's funny, Sqad?

[scorpiojo]

//He did that stupid mistake once//??

[naomi24]

//He isn't afraid to show love and affection no matter where....He cheated on me, with three girls actually.. //

Very clearly he isn't afraid to show love and affection no matter where!

//I also know that I will never meet anyone that would treat me so good and sweet like he did, someone who matches me completely. //

You don't know that. You have no idea what the future holds.

Dump him.

[ummmm]

Well 3 people is not once!

[10ClarionSt]

What are you confused about? Get out. Now. Ditch him. Move on. Leave. Go! Is there anything in this reply that you don't understand? Think of yourself. You'll be glad you did!

[Samuraisan]

Run a mile unless you want a life of heartbreak.

[spathiphyllum]

Sqad that's because there is a general conscientious of what a "normal" relationship consists of.

Of course, everyone is unique and people choose to have multiple partners or not, but if the OP considers their partner as a cheat, then it seems they wanted an exclusive relationship. For the other party to break these terms is quite vile to be honest and very unfair.

The OP shouldn't stick with a man that doesn't suit them simply because they feel they might not find someone else. That's balderdash no one knows what the future holds.

[Rockrose]

He has no respect for you and will end up passing on a nasty disease. Dump him

[Old_Geezer]

If you are unhappy, consider leaving. If you are ok putting up with it and the relationship is otherwise sound, consider not leaving.

[LadyCG]

Don't you deserve better than a lying rat?

Walk away. I did and I thank my lucky stars every day.

I now have someone amazing and you can too, but not if you stick with this cheating weasel.

[spathiphyllum]

online dating has gotten to the point to provide you with so much opportunity.

[Sqad]

spath.

"Sqad that's because there is a general conscientious of what a "normal" relationship consists of. "

Is there? So what is a "normal" relationship? I assume from all the posts i have read on this subject on AB over the years, that "normal" means a relationship without infidelity.
Do you agree?
If you do agree, then one will need to redefine "normal relationship,"
and i would suggest the definition might be ..what the majority of the population in relationships indulge in. if more than 50% indulge overtly or covertly in infidelity, then the norm is infidelity.

Now the big question....what is the evidence that more than 50% of couples have cheated.....one or the other?

I know what i think, but that is the question.

[naomi24]

sqad, whether people cheat or not, he's making a fool of her and that's the reason she should dump him.

[spathiphyllum]

"Do you agree?"

Yes, most relationships (unless otherwise stated) is a relationship without infidelity.

The issue is, when you talk about 50% cheating, this is because the committed to a one on one relationship, not a polyamory.. so when they lie to their partners, or sext another woman, they are cheating on the rules they set at the begining.

Maybe more people should get into polyamory so the % of cheating goes down?

But then i think a lot of people wouldn't feel as comfortable in their relationships as they do.

Fact is, each to their own. But if you commit to a one to one relationship and then you get with someone else, you're breaking the rules.. or Cheating.

If you commit to a polyamory relationship then alls bless isn't it.

So maybe the issue is people not letting their faithful partners know that they'd actually prefer a polyamory relationship.

Anyway if a man is running round dipping his toe in other ponds he's obviously a immature boy probably with self esteem issues.