custody rights??

[eeyore84]

i have a 4 year old son and left his dad 2 years ago. a week later he was in a relatioship with my so called friend and they are still together. my son stays with his dad 3 nights a week. i have been reasonable and said i dont mind his partner looking after my son for an hour or so as long as it is in the house, but recently they have been bending the rules and she has been taking him out places which i dont think is right but they are saying there is nothing i can do about it and its getting a bit nasty. i was thinking about going through mediation to set guidelines. but my ex said he wont do that and will take me straight to court to fight for custody which i know he would never get but i just dont know which way to turn. if i ask that she can't take my son out of the house alone will the courts/mediator do as i ask with me being the main carer and mother????

[lil75]

I dont understand why you have a problem with this woman taking your child out? What you need to ask yourself is this, is the child having fun, if so then whats the problem, I think the main problem here is about it being your old friend???

[eyeshade]

She is his stepmother after all, she should be quite capable of looking after him. I had two stepsons to look after and would have utterly mortified if mum had thought I couldn't do it. You are still going to be mum whatever happens, the best thing is your son's happiness, going that route will make things much worse in the long run and all sorts of problems will start. Leave well alone and start thinking of son instead of yourself and get out and about yourself, and have some you time.

[lil75]

Have to agree that if you go down this route, its going to cause nothing but misery, my daughter goes out with her fathers wife and im not bothered in the slightest, as long as she is looked after and happy, thats all I care about!!!

[guysach]

eyeshade ..she is not his stepmother it does not state that he is married to this woman..and you have to be married to become a step parent.

but to answer the question you are being Unreasonable it is up to the parent at the time what they do with the child in their care.
Does your ex ever says you can not go her with the child etc I think not and you would tell him to mind his own business. You don�t say the sort of places the father is taking the child. If it�s the pub etc yes you can tell them its not right .
when the woman takes the child out is the father with them if not you can say he has rights to spend time with the child and if he is not spending tim with the child why is he bothering at all?

[bednobs]

also, it's not like she is a fly-by-night - she has known him for over 1/2 his life by the sound of it.
imagine the situation were reversed and he tried to lay down the law about who could look after the son while he was in your care

[tamborine]

his father has as much right to rearing his way as you do. You have caused this split to your son and now your son has to adapt to a step-mother. Your fault - stop wingeing!