When Will You Take Your Christmas Cards...
ChatterBank1 min ago
My sons teacher .
44 Answers
My son is dyslexic An obvously really struggles with his school work. His head of year sent a memo out to all his teachers saying DO NOT make my son read out in class! The other day his history teacher asked him to read out my son said he didn't want to so again she said stand up an read again he said no my head of year said I don't have to. She insisted he did so he left the classroom embarresed and in a panic when he left she turned to the class and said what a FREAK!!! Am obviously fuming and went up to his school to confront them . I've been told it will be looked into . Is there any thing I could or should do about this situation? To me it's discrimination against my dyslexic son and I want her job for this . Am I going over the top here ? Any advice please ? ..
Answers
Your son's teacher may not have been advised of the instruction that he is to be excused reading out loud in class, but her subsequent remark is clearly unacceptable
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09:10 Wed 14th Oct 2009
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Jonah, you have to be very sure your son heard this woman call him a freak. I have read all thru this thread and have not seen any conclusive evidence that he even claims to have. Hearsay will not do, and nothing so far is inconsistent with that. You have not picked up on references that appear to suggest it. Please be specific.
Alun, you say "that's for her superiors to decide upon" and "it has to be properly investigated, hasn't it?" I wonder if it will be. Do you think the "compromise" of a quid-pro-quo apology came from the head? It's hard to imagine that it was not a case of the head caving in to a demand from a teacher with a really bad attitude to apologizing for something she probably does accept has to be apologized for. And if it was as bad as in your first account, how could the boy NOT walk out? It sounded as if there would be no end to the distress she was inflicting on him.
Alun, you say "that's for her superiors to decide upon" and "it has to be properly investigated, hasn't it?" I wonder if it will be. Do you think the "compromise" of a quid-pro-quo apology came from the head? It's hard to imagine that it was not a case of the head caving in to a demand from a teacher with a really bad attitude to apologizing for something she probably does accept has to be apologized for. And if it was as bad as in your first account, how could the boy NOT walk out? It sounded as if there would be no end to the distress she was inflicting on him.
Oh dear ahmskunnirt - by keeping on their case - this is not an aggressive comment but it means not to let them forget the issue before it is resolved.
I think jonah has dealt with this matter so far in a non aggressive way - I agree keeping calm is the way to go - the teacher should be made to apologise to her son and in front of the class that she chose to include. This will show them that it is unacceptable to call children or adults such names.
Me - what would I have done - punched her.............
I think jonah has dealt with this matter so far in a non aggressive way - I agree keeping calm is the way to go - the teacher should be made to apologise to her son and in front of the class that she chose to include. This will show them that it is unacceptable to call children or adults such names.
Me - what would I have done - punched her.............
Clearly if your son is due an apology, the teacher has been brought to task and must have said something along the lines you have suggested.
Of course you should be furious about how your boy has been spoken to. Life is difficult enough for anyone with dyslexia and being spoken to by a teacher like this is totally out of order. It would have been more acceptable for her to say that on this occassion she would exclude him from reading but would be checking with the Head of Year.
There is little wonder that children have no respect for anything or anyone when they are spoken to like this by teachers - the very people who are paid by us to teach or children and to set examples. Who is to blame when kids turn around and talk to you like you are an idiot when this is what they are treated like.
You know her job is not going to be on the cards hear, you know you will be classed as a moaning mother! BUT there is little wonder you are furious - any decent parent would be. You should accompany your boy for the apology and ask that she apologise infront of the same class that she ridiculed your boy in.
You should also put into writing the series of events to the Chair of the Governors - this is very important as if there are ever any problems in the future it is documented. Do not complain to the head of school as it is unlikely that it will be treated formally - the Governing Body are responsible for the hiring firing etc.....
Would love to know how is goes. Heidi x
Of course you should be furious about how your boy has been spoken to. Life is difficult enough for anyone with dyslexia and being spoken to by a teacher like this is totally out of order. It would have been more acceptable for her to say that on this occassion she would exclude him from reading but would be checking with the Head of Year.
There is little wonder that children have no respect for anything or anyone when they are spoken to like this by teachers - the very people who are paid by us to teach or children and to set examples. Who is to blame when kids turn around and talk to you like you are an idiot when this is what they are treated like.
You know her job is not going to be on the cards hear, you know you will be classed as a moaning mother! BUT there is little wonder you are furious - any decent parent would be. You should accompany your boy for the apology and ask that she apologise infront of the same class that she ridiculed your boy in.
You should also put into writing the series of events to the Chair of the Governors - this is very important as if there are ever any problems in the future it is documented. Do not complain to the head of school as it is unlikely that it will be treated formally - the Governing Body are responsible for the hiring firing etc.....
Would love to know how is goes. Heidi x
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I just wonder if kicking up a huge fuss like this is doing your son any favours. You say you've been to the school many times for your son. I know maternal instinct says fight for him and stand up for him, but maybe this is more damaging to his confidence. I know the teacher was out of order, but while people are ignorant things like this will always happen, and you're not going to change everyone no matter how hard you try. Maybe it would be better idea to help your son ignore comments such as these and learn how to deal with them in such a way that his confidence isn't shattered every time he hears something like that. You seem to be mollycoddling him and reinforcing the belief that he's 'different' when it might be better to show him how common dyslexis is and how many successful people in history have had it, that he can overcome it and succeed himself. Surely this would be a healthier and more prductive use of your time that gunning for a teacher. Remind him that she will still be a teacher in a dead-end job when he has the high-flying career he is more than capable of having.
Honestly thanks so much for your comments guys :-) I do no now for a fact that she as said it ... And also the reason I've been into school many times is when he was 6 his primary school teacher told me he was just being lazy but after reading with him an realizing he got all his letters wrong I new he was dyslexic so I had to fight the school to get him tests which concluded he is 99.9 per cent dyslexic ( daft amount I no ) and believe it or not there are still teachers that don't believe it excist ( unbelievable) and it's caused alot of bullying for my son too, like I put in one of my comments it's a constant struggle to keep his confidence up some days he's crys with frustration an tells himself thick all the time which is far from the truth he pushes hiself so hard in other subjects to prove to hiself he's not thick, ( hate that word) and that's why I have to make a stand for his sake not just as a mother sticking up for her son but so my son knows this is not acceptable behaviour, thankyou all again x
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Well guys what an eye opener this mornings been, first of they wanted my son to apologize for walking out which I refused to let him do he didn't shout,swear or kick off he just left then the teacher confessed that not only did she call him a freak she called it him TWICE an her excuse was it was just a flippant comment that my son was never ment to hear.. ( oh well that makes it ok then) I let her no how disgusted I was how I was going to go to the school governer her responce was you do that I won't be here come December ( she's pregnant) she slouched rolled her eyes then had the cheek to say my son had an attitude problem ... WOW not only am I still fuming I'm in shock .
Morning Jonah - was the meeting with the teacher in front of any other members of staff ?
I think this teacher does not have the right approach to her chosen profession. To throw a remark in to balance the books, so to speak, saying your son has an attitude problem, is very immature of her. Her apology should have come first to your son for calling him a freak, then to show how mature your son is, I would have let him say 'I am sorry for leaving the classroom, but felt I had no choice'. I have always found, 'turning the tables' so to speak, can have more of an affect than sometimes not. If you get my drift !
How old is your son, Jonah ?
I would write a letter to the Board of Governers sending a copy of the letter to the Education Department at your Local Authority.
How was the situation left ? is your son back in school?
I think this teacher does not have the right approach to her chosen profession. To throw a remark in to balance the books, so to speak, saying your son has an attitude problem, is very immature of her. Her apology should have come first to your son for calling him a freak, then to show how mature your son is, I would have let him say 'I am sorry for leaving the classroom, but felt I had no choice'. I have always found, 'turning the tables' so to speak, can have more of an affect than sometimes not. If you get my drift !
How old is your son, Jonah ?
I would write a letter to the Board of Governers sending a copy of the letter to the Education Department at your Local Authority.
How was the situation left ? is your son back in school?
I've been dipping in and out of this.
Jonah, if her response is "she won't be here in December" as she is pregnant, try to get something permament put on her file, especially if she is planning to return after maternity leave.
If she treats school-children this way, how is she going to treat her own child?
Good luck Jonah.
Jonah, if her response is "she won't be here in December" as she is pregnant, try to get something permament put on her file, especially if she is planning to return after maternity leave.
If she treats school-children this way, how is she going to treat her own child?
Good luck Jonah.
My God! My detective instincts were right! While I was compiling what I post below, those of us who were on the side of the angels were completely vindicated. Good for you, Jonah! But what a disgraceful business! And it just got more and more disgraceful.
I will post the below anyway. It is more relevant than ever.
Alun, you say
"You began your post by basically agreeing with me that there's more than one side to a story, yes? But you then end it by being judgemental about the teaching staff, you can't have it both ways, you're either objective - or not."
I agreed with you from start to finish that there's more than one side to a story. That is why I asked Jonah to be specific about the evidence that this woman called the boy a freak. And that is ALSO why I worry whether it will be "properly investigated". I have not received the reassurance I hoped for on either of those points.
So both ways is precisely the way I have to have it.
But at no point am I judgmental about the teaching staff. I am quite explicitly suspending judgment. Knowing that "there's more than one side to a story, and that the powers that be at the school will be have to be consultative towards all interested parties", I adduce prima facie evidence of reason to be suspicious about the fairness and democracy of the process in this case. If you like, it is also evidence that I personally think the balance in favour of the child, which in this case one has to hope for, has been compromised by the head's support for the teacher's demand for an apology for "walking out on her"
The two sides to a story are often of very unequal merit, and quite often rightly given very unequal weight. These days it seems to me that administrative staff are in mortal terror of children and their parents, and may therefore give too much weight to unsubstantiated accusations of far more s
I will post the below anyway. It is more relevant than ever.
Alun, you say
"You began your post by basically agreeing with me that there's more than one side to a story, yes? But you then end it by being judgemental about the teaching staff, you can't have it both ways, you're either objective - or not."
I agreed with you from start to finish that there's more than one side to a story. That is why I asked Jonah to be specific about the evidence that this woman called the boy a freak. And that is ALSO why I worry whether it will be "properly investigated". I have not received the reassurance I hoped for on either of those points.
So both ways is precisely the way I have to have it.
But at no point am I judgmental about the teaching staff. I am quite explicitly suspending judgment. Knowing that "there's more than one side to a story, and that the powers that be at the school will be have to be consultative towards all interested parties", I adduce prima facie evidence of reason to be suspicious about the fairness and democracy of the process in this case. If you like, it is also evidence that I personally think the balance in favour of the child, which in this case one has to hope for, has been compromised by the head's support for the teacher's demand for an apology for "walking out on her"
The two sides to a story are often of very unequal merit, and quite often rightly given very unequal weight. These days it seems to me that administrative staff are in mortal terror of children and their parents, and may therefore give too much weight to unsubstantiated accusations of far more s
serious abuse, the mere suspicion of which not infrequently does lose teachers their jobs, on the basis that "there is no smoke without fire".
So the predominant presupposition is by no means that teachers are more likely to have abused power than children are to have abused the power that wave after wave of well-meant but understandably draconian legislation has given them.
I was not innocent as a child (though not in any way that justified my being caned once a week for most of my school career for 'insubordination' of one kind or another – not that I am a shining example of the effectiveness of corporal punishment!), and it could hardly be said that children are innocent today. They know the score, and their parents not only support them against the teacher, but encourage an adversarial mindset. Neither side is really in the stronger position in a case like this.
I stress I am talking in general terms – it wouldn’t be the first time on this thread that people have jumped to the conclusion that every sentiment expressed is about the specifics of this case.
So specifically in this case DO you think the "compromise" of a quid-pro-quo apology came from the head?
It's not "judgmental" to find it "hard to imagine that it was not a case of the head caving in to a demand from a teacher with a really bad attitude to apologizing for something she probably does accept has to be apologized for". If she did NOT accept that it has to be apologized for, why would she agree to apologize at all? It would not redound to her credit in such a sensitive situation as this to admit to a transgression of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour for anyone, let alone a teacher. Purely an impression, but she doesn’t seem like the sort of person who would jib at the paraphernalia of tribunals, reviews, etc. that she would be risking by refusing to apolo
So the predominant presupposition is by no means that teachers are more likely to have abused power than children are to have abused the power that wave after wave of well-meant but understandably draconian legislation has given them.
I was not innocent as a child (though not in any way that justified my being caned once a week for most of my school career for 'insubordination' of one kind or another – not that I am a shining example of the effectiveness of corporal punishment!), and it could hardly be said that children are innocent today. They know the score, and their parents not only support them against the teacher, but encourage an adversarial mindset. Neither side is really in the stronger position in a case like this.
I stress I am talking in general terms – it wouldn’t be the first time on this thread that people have jumped to the conclusion that every sentiment expressed is about the specifics of this case.
So specifically in this case DO you think the "compromise" of a quid-pro-quo apology came from the head?
It's not "judgmental" to find it "hard to imagine that it was not a case of the head caving in to a demand from a teacher with a really bad attitude to apologizing for something she probably does accept has to be apologized for". If she did NOT accept that it has to be apologized for, why would she agree to apologize at all? It would not redound to her credit in such a sensitive situation as this to admit to a transgression of the boundaries of acceptable behaviour for anyone, let alone a teacher. Purely an impression, but she doesn’t seem like the sort of person who would jib at the paraphernalia of tribunals, reviews, etc. that she would be risking by refusing to apolo
