Problems with neighbours

[filthiestfis]

Dont know where to post this really. Im feeling quite shocked, angry and upset at the mo. Just got a letter slipped under my door from the neighbours downstairs complaining about the noise we are making.
I am shocked because we do not think that we are making an unreasonable level of noise.
My partner and I moved in a couple of months ago. Last night, at 1am I walked briskly from our bedroom to the living room to turn off the internet hen we heard some loud banging which sounded like it came from our own house. We immediately felt like it was directed at us.
Anyway, the letter says that we have been making excessive levels of noise late at night and early in the morning and that they are unable to sleep until we go to sleep and that then they are awaken by us. Also complaints that we should not open the front door at night to smoke outside as this wakes their son up.
I feel that We do not use the washing machine beyond 9.30ish and we do not play music at all or watch tv late at night or make any noise other than talking to each other and walking about. I think that it is unreasonable to accuse us of this and we are now made to feel like prisoners because we cannot even walk around the house.
At 6am my partner gets up to go to work and she just walks to and from bathroom/kitchen which I do not even hear! They want us not to walk around then?!
Im just feeling really confused and I know we will have to go and speak to them about it, just wondering how to handle the situation.

[filthiestfis]

So they suggest that instead of my partner going out to smoke at night that she smokes out of our rear window "like every other person who as lived in your flat has done previously"...the reason why she does it outside is so that we do not have smoke in our house. We live in a converted Victorian house, unfortunately, some noise can be heard, but I think they are not being tolerant at all.

[lardhelmet]

I assume they live in the lower flat filthie?

[filthiestfis]

Yes we live on ground floor, they live in basement and 2 floors above us which we dont hear much from at all.

[boxtops]

Have you got solid floors? My MIL has a problem with the people above them, every time they walk on their solid floor it sounds really loud in her flat below. Even when their cats were kittens, you could hear them skittering about on the floor above - I'm not sure whether there's a roof void which is acting as a sounding board.
Shame your neighbour can't just knock the door and talk to you, rather than posting a note.

[carmalee]

Before this gets out of hand why not invite them for a cuppa and discuss it in a reasonable fashion. Clearly they have been used to different people in your premise and liked the way they handled the smoking thing. Equally clear is your right to enjoy your home in a way you like (providing it's not too upsetting for the neighbours). I promise you, if this escalates it has the potential to become very unpleasant for everyone. Rather try and show them how reasonable you are by inviting a calm and resonable discussion. At least if it all does go pear shaped you have the moral high ground and did try and sort it amicably.

[askyourgran]

I bet that is why your flat was vacant. They sound as if they make a fuss about anything. Are you walking about in hobnail boots then?

[filthiestfis]

Yes I was wondering why our lovely flat was vacant and it may have to do with these people. They say in the letter that if we wish to discuss anything we should come down talk to them. Shouldnt they be the ones that come to talk to us since they have a problem with us?

[filthiestfis]

Im wondering whether I should write a letter to them or just go downstairs and confront them about all the issues?

[lardhelmet]

I guess it depends how old they are. If they're used to turning in at 10.30-ish, hearing you walking briskly across the room at 1am may not go down too well, especially if, as boxtops says, it's across wooden floors. Wooden floors should be banned in flats where there is someone living beneath them! They may also be really light sleepers, so will hear every little knock or squeak anyway. Not sure how opening the front door wakes up their son tho - you don't slam the door when you go in or out do you, so I'm not sure what that's all about? As boxtops says it's a shame they didn't knock "for a chat" as there's obviously ill feeling between you now which is always a shame.

[boxtops]

I'd go down. Get your wife to walk about in your flat while you are down there, so you can hear for yourself if it sounds loud, or if they are ultra-sensitive.

[askyourgran]

I would have thought they would have the guts to face you, but take Carmalee's advice and invite them for a cuppa see what develops, but keep your calm.

[boxtops]

^ sorry, partner, my mistake.

[filthiestfis]

"I regret that the first communication between us is in this form...we felt that a polite note was less confrontational than coming up to your flat to complain directly."

[lardhelmet]

I agree with boxtops - it's a good idea and you might be surprised how much they can hear or whether they're just overreacting because they want the place to themselves!
Good luck!

[filthiestfis]

got to keep this post going

[suzie1]

write a letter back and state that you do not think you are making excessive noise and that if they wish to discuss it further, that they come up to see you and tell you exactly what kind of noise you are making!!! and try and sort it from there, if you are a tenant get in touch with your landlord and mention it to them to sort it out, i.e if you have wooden floor etc, they should replace that with carpet....and if you own the flat, its best to take legal advice if this gets out of hand.....but hope you sort it amicably good luck

[filthiestfis]

suzie1 thats what I think I should do, write a letter and tell them to come up, but I think that it might make things worse doing things this way, no?

[filthiestfis]

The bedroom and living room are carpet but still make creaking noises probably wood underneath. The bathroom is tiles and well, they say that our entrance hall, kitchen and half our bedroom is above their main bedroom. Sounds like they have been in touch with previous tenants, otherwise, how would they know where our rooms are?

[suzie1]

No i don't think it will. to be honest, say that you have taken into account what they have asked of you, but you cannot understand what kinda noise it is your supposedly making, and are willing to compromise etc on issues and it would be nice to get to know you as neighbours and just invite them up for a cuppa and if they don't take it up, leave it a while and see what they do next, i wouldn't do anything in haste at this time, as its the first time they have mentioned noise to you...isn't it?...and at least you have made the effort to sort it out..

[tamborine]

tell 'em your MILaw is staying over and would they like to come and tell her she's overweight?