Some One-Liners
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something cr*p!
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."