Three For The Price Of One
In an airport boarding area they announced that the flight was overbooked.
The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a £100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.
About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter announced:
"If there is anyone else other than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."
A census taker walked up to a woman who was sitting on a porch. After introducing himself, he said, "How many children do you have?"
The woman answered, "Four."
The census taker asked, "May I have their names, please?" The woman replied, "Eenie, Meenie, Minie, and George."
Confused, the census taker said, "May I ask why you named your fourth child 'George'?"
"Surely, because we didn't want any Moe."
A girl and a boy are travelling on a train,
The girl says my hand hurts
The boy kisses her hand
The girl then says my neck hurts
The boy kisses her neck
An old man sitting opposite asks; "son, do you treat piles?"