Juicy Big Veg
Big willy Wilson was the envy of the neighborhood, his vegetable garden was immaculate and he had won many top prizes at the local horticultural show for his king sized veg which knocked other entries into a cocked hat!
One day, an admiring neighbor, Sal, said to willy, I wish I knew your secret, I just can't get my tomatoes to ripen and all my veg seems dwarfed by your huge monsters!
Okay, Willy says I'll let you in to my little secret...... No-one is born with green-fingers, what you have to do is attune yourself to the elements of nature and work with it and not against it
Willy checks his watch and says to Sal, Tomorrow night be a full moon and what you must do, is go into your veg patch at the stoke of midnight and strip off your clothes and dance in the moonlight, this will please the spirits of the air, which will intern favor and reward you
After the night of the full moon, willy sees Sal over the fence and asks, 'hows the veg coming on, did you try what I advised ?'
Yes, Sal replied "the toms are still small, hard and green, but there-again,you should see the size of my marrows!!"